


I wanted it more than anything...

by Scarlet_Blade9



Series: It could have been worse... [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Animagus, Animagus Severus Snape, Betrayal, Death Eaters, Legilimency (Harry Potter), Minor Character Death, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Occlumency (Harry Potter), Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Other, Parseltongue, Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, Torture, Voldemort lose a body, War, Young Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 35,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24859579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Blade9/pseuds/Scarlet_Blade9
Summary: Third part of the story!Tom snapped, Severus is on the run, Evan is a psycho, Marauders are a good guys here as well, Dumbledore is trying to keep the wizarding world together relatively safe and they all try to win ( or live).I hope you will like this one too!
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore & Severus Snape, Evan Rosier & Severus Snape, Marauders & Severus Snape, Severus Snape & Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Series: It could have been worse... [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783453
Comments: 97
Kudos: 30





	1. Never melted fury on!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trickster32](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster32/gifts), [taywin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taywin/gifts), [Akee_chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akee_chan/gifts).



_**Abraxas’ pov** _

Everyone felt it. Not me, I do not have a mark, but…

Lucius was screaming in pain for a many hours until the dawn. Tom finally realized what he did… We knew it would come, after all the boy was _that important_ and he lost his temper at something and… well, so far he was in deep denial.

Even behaving normally most of the time.

Outside of letting for more violence than necessary, that is.

Many people would say I have a death wish, coming to his house just a few minutes later, but… it is necessary. If no one at least talk to him, than he will go on to destroy everything and anyone who come across him. Society is already starting to be scared, some do connect this sudden subtle change with Severus’ disappearance…

We’re in deep trouble.

Why that boy had to go and get himself killed?

Damn it.

Slowly, I’m going in. Every wards have disappeared. His magic lashed out that much. I hope there is something to pick up there for me, not just a bloodthirsty monster. There is also no point in checking other rooms.

He must be at Severus’.

I was right once again, Nagini barely recognize me in time not to kill me. That pet…

“Tom?” Slowly, steadily, without hurry…

“Abraxas… He’s gone…”

We knew it… still it is worrying how long it took him to…

“Yes, he is…”

He looks at me with anger so much visible despite the 8 hours of constant lashing.

“NO! He was here, in magical coma, but here!! He’s no more! Disappeared, someone stole him!”

Oh, so… that is why. You were punishing him for something and… Oh Merlin, who dared to even…

“Tom… no one else out of us would try to take the kid, most thought we…that we will never see Severus again. After the Rosier’s son punishment, people would not even thought about talking about him, not to mention touching or taking him away.”

“Wha…? Yea, I was pretty mad back then. But then… he’s not here, Abraxas. He was supposed to be here!! Who would…” suddenly his eyes narrowed and magic become even heavier “ Dumbledore!” he said it with so much hatred and despise that it was hard not to flinch “It must be him or one of his pets! **_SsSSssssSSS_** Just in case get people to look for him. He will come back, I am sure… somehow, I will get him back”

I am not sure, Tom.

If he were to wake up and hear that you tortured Evan Rosier so viciously, that you killed Fleamont Potter and his wife, which were important to him… he might not come back. If he… chose to defy you in any way, it must have been outside of his possibilities. The kid put up with all those horrible things as barely 15 years old.

What would make him deny you?

For sure their death won’t help you with him.

But you’re not waiting to get your thoughts still and proper and you are going straight to Dumbledore while I am following once again behind you, so you won’t destroy all that is left of our plan.

We have to get the kid back and obliviate him… the only choice. It will take some drugs and maybe torture to tear shields, but any other way… it is over.

Getting there is a matter of seconds. _Floo was not blocked._

He does not look surprised. At all. He might have expected us…

“Hello, Tom, it was a while from your last visit, two months I believe? Did Mr Snape was finally found? One year is a long time being absent…”

“You know why I’m here!”

“Why you come to institution, which teach young minds, when your own has already graduated and gone missing afterwards? I have no idea for your reason, Tom, in such a unstable times…” last words were a little slower said.

As in accusing tone.

“Oh, don’t play idiot, Albus, you know where he is”

I wish to know just that and go to try to talk him into coming back. Only Tom or a team of few can bring him back by force…

“Why should I? He’s a free, ** _adult_ **young man, capable of deciding by himself. If he decided to leave you, it was his choice. I do wonder why you are so worried only a year after through.”

Wait, the way he told it.

Tom is pale now.

“You have woken him up…” is it a hint of fear there? From Tom? What made you be afraid without considering what you did to two of people close to his heart…

“I have no idea what you mean, Tom, from what I was supposed to wake him?”

“Where is he?” Tom is neither coherent or calm enough to talk with muggle lover, but calming him down is… impossible.

“If he want to go back, he will. No one will stop him. No matter where he has run away to from you.” These words… _the materialization of his fear._

“Tom… let’s go, no point in talking with him” another danger I am putting myself in. I am getting old and stupid.

“I will find him and make you all pay, keep it in mind, old fool” with that we’re out and… Dumbledore is smiling. Damn, they really do have him..

When we’re back at his home, he has quite decisively ordered me to get out. He’s probably going to lash out more before calming down and start forming a plan.

I need to talk with Orion.

Fast.

He’s also scared for the future, he had to obliviate his son to keep him from experiencing Rosier’s fate! Lucius is so much more self-preserved and he barely stopped himself with my help and some spell and Narcissa... I even considered doing the same to him after all…

“Abraxas, you heard?”

“Worse, I have checked up…” He looks terrified… no wonder, it could have been fatal.

“Did you lose your mind? He’s not himself from that kid death!” funny how no one dares to mention him by name as someone got tortured for it.

Yea, funny…

“He is alive. And now truly missing”

Orion blinks at me as at the idiot.

“Pardon?”

“Tom didn’t kill him, he was… I think pressuring him into a choice he wished for, but… I have no idea what it was about. Anyway, it looks like he put Severus in comatose state and woken him once in a while and then after repeated refusal, put him back into coma… and someone has truly now stolen him and… well, Tom in his anger has gone to confront muggle-lover…”

“He didn’t…”

“Nothing of that sort, but if he was more coherent, he would not go and tell him he knows. Trying to stop Tom completely in this state is of no use, one can only minimalism damage”

“And? He has the kid?” I do nod “ Then won’t he escape and come back? He’s nearly as much in love with Tom as Tom with him…” I’m sorry, friend, but this is a baseless wish, nothing else.

“ _ **Potter. Evan**_. You think he will come back soon? If he ever come back on his own, it will be a long time. The kid can be as unpredictable as his guardian.”

“I will contact Bellatrix and tell her to leave hunting those muggles and go on to search for him. I will make sure she got it that _he was stolen_ from Tom only now, without mentioning anything which would make her want to kill or hurt him.”

Yes, we need to work fast.

“I will tell Lucius and few others good at tracking down. Pity Tom never gave him mark or it would be easy…”

“When anything is easy, Abraxas? Important bit is that Severus is alive and can be recovered back. And then Tom will calm down again. We’re not loud enough for it to be hopeless situation yet. Most of public is still oblivious, only can see his distress and put it toward Severus’ disappearance and so, if they see him, they will report to help _their beloved Minister._ Come, we need to reduce their antics before even this advantage will be lost to us”

It will soon if more wizarding families are dead.

Like Potters.

Mostly.

**_Severus’ pov_ **

It is just… It was not how I used to imagine my future. Not here, with people who oppose Tom. I did choose him and I can’t go with it.

Pathetic.

But he killed Mr Potter. For nothing, for me, for useless me, he killed a person who once saved me as well. How ridiculous is it?

And Evan…? They said that he’s dead, but… wait, they said he was tortured to death, but… Tom would not kill him outright, as a ‘mercy’ for his father, which he has once told me that he considered him friend.

Death is metaphor. **_He’s insane…_** It is even worse than death then…

I need to find him and… try to help him? How? Get him out of there for sure. I will find a cure even for insanity if I have to search for all eternity! Maybe legilimency...? _Yes, it can work._

He’s my friend… they are too, but…

Not like Evan.

Nothing like I feel of Tom…

But I don’t want to think of Tom for now. Not at all. The pain coming along with this is too much.

I’m sorry, James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, Mary…

I can’t stay here. I don’t hate you, but… I can’t stay with and fought along the person I do not trust.

I don’t trust Dumbledore from that day with a vow and me not being able to go back to Tom will change nothing out of this. Nothing at all. He intruded my mind after I was nearly killed, hit me at my lowest and ignore my pain. You don’t even know this…

And will probably never know.

For now, this little letter have to do.

_I’m leaving, but not going back, I have to find out my own feelings and way._

_Thank you for your help, I will pay you back one day._

_Severus._

And after leaving it, I do change into a cat. A cute, little black cat, so similar to thousand others. I wonder, can you distinguished me between them? Or you won’t, Tom?

Now, mission first – getting out Evan from wherever he is and curing him. And I do have a plan… as someone would be there and all of them at least once saw my animagus form…

Then… then I will decide to either forgive Tom or hate him for his crimes.

Time will show us.

_**Me:** _

Week later the young man, who is considered a member of the resistance come _to its true master_.

“My lord…” he said while bowing low, near the floor. He was a selfish creature, which would always chose his own safety and himself.

Never people around him.

“Stop trying to make me flattered, what do you know, Petegrew? You said you had valuable information. If not, get out! Don’t try to make me angry by slowing me down with your mediocrity!” the Dark Lord was angry. Like always for the last week.

**_Always._ **

The man flinched and started to stutter and only another glare made him finally put himself and words together.

“It was revealed to all members of Order that they have indeed retrieve your… ward and woke him up…”

“Where is he!!? Where is this useless headquarters?" after a moment of silence and narrowing of eyes... "Ahh, Fidelis, then who is a secret keeper?”

“Dumbledore, my Lord” the gaze become murderous and he was practically going to go over to the muggle-lover to get it out of him, when spy has tried to add…

“But…” it kept him in track…

“But? Is there more? Hurry up before I make you regret ever being alive.” His tone was extremely dangerous.

“He’s not there anymore!!”

“What..? What do you even mean?”

“He disappeared a week ago after full recovery and left some note of finding his own way or something, my Lord!” it was practically screamed at the Dark Lord and so…

 _ **“Crucio**_ ” the screams that followed were terrible ones… “ So… he left… but didn’t come back here… where would he…”for a moment he was distracted and then his eyes shone dangerously “ Evan Rosier”

And so he has changed a destination.

“Rosier’s hall!!” and was gone in green flames…


	2. Mind is a labyrinth

_**Tom's pov** _

He can come here today.

Or tomorrow.

Or never.

But out of all possible destination, it is the most possible. Severus does not give up his friends, even that Potter’s brat or Orion’s son.

Even that mudblood, who he should not remember, but still become friends with. And another one.

And the rat, who told me also which one was a werewolf. Fitting, right? Apparently they are animagi and this is how Severus got that idea. What’s more he knew, but never told me. Nor them about him becoming animagus, it seems.

But McGonagal knows, so old fool too, so soon them as well. It is no advantage. Bella is here as well, my loyal warrior, she is to look out from outside. If she were to spot the cat-Severus or Severus the boy, she is to capture him with any known method, barred the ones which would killed him.

Even unforgivable.

I am sorry to do it, but not many can beat him in fight and Bella, if she has a chance in proper duel, not fighting to kill is a obstacle which she may not overcome.

I taught him well after all.

This feeling… a signal, they got him!!

I am out in the flash and they are giving me **_a cat_**.

First moment of happiness is exchange by anger and disappointment.

“Bella, dear, check out your eyes, it is definitely not Severus, he has a different right foot, his left ear is more pointed at the left and he has more black-like and full eyes!!” Imbeciles, all of them. Don’t they know how he looks like!?

“Another cat, my lord!” What?

From many direction, there were signals or many different black cats being here…

Why would so many…

_He’s here._

This is diversion.

Going back to the place where Evan Rosier is supposed to be takes a while, this home has too many doors. I blast half of them later on, but…

The boy is no more here.

Either is Severus.

How he took him without me noticing? New spell? Some I don’t know? Or… he might have transfigured Rosier’s brat into the mouse or something else.

DAMN IT.

**_“GET ANY CAT AND CAPTURE WITHOUT EXCEPTION WITHIN 10 KILOMETRES!!”_ **

Where is he?

****

**_Severus’ pov_ **

It was so close. Oh, Merlin, I hoped there would be less people as Tom should have more things to take care of than running after a teenager or rather young man. He definitely needs a hobby, other than petting me or Nagini.

I miss her… but if she see me, she will give me over to Tom in an instant. Her loyalty is ultimately to him, after all. After getting on an acceptable range, I do hide in the hole with mouse-Evan. I wonder how well that deception worked. I have never before tried to trick Tom.

Mrs Black often if not always.

Evan or Lucius or Regulus sometimes.

Marauders plus Lily and Mary as much as I have time and a mood.

Mr Black or Mr Malfoy few times.

Never Tom.

I hope it worked. I can’t beat Tom in fight, I can’t run away if he spot me. I can’t do much against him.

But it doesn’t matter, now I have to hide, hide and protect Evan and get him back. I can do it. No, I must do it. He is in such a state because of me. I have to fix him.

Now… the only place I can go to… but won’t Tom realize? Or… he may not. At least not immediately with searching over for a cat and checking personally every or using that revealing spell, but…

Well, they are slow if they can’t beat the answer out of you.

Ha! What a _Death Eaters_ of them.

In a few hours, after sleeping over at the hole, I move up again. Evan-mouse barely reacted, only ate a little of cheese later I did stole anf force into his mouth.

Damn, we need place where I can un-transfigurate him.

So in the road.

.

.

.

Spinner’s end.

House was not sold or anything. Tom said I can burn it one day. Who knew I will need it anyway? Now… where to? Not into the house itself, it will be too… obvious. That ruin of a mill that dad worked at… yes, it will fit good enough.

Getting there, no, getting here at all was tiresome… I might have picked a car at the half of the way, but it was still a lot for one, little cat.

I wish I was a faster and more powerful animal sometimes. Like now.

Going back to human and…

“Welcome back, Evan, I’m alive. I will save you, so…” no matter what don't give up.

First, go back to being human.

Second, time to dive into his mind. I may become insane too… I may hurt him or myself. I may die while trying.

And I can possible heal him.

Well, the possible outcome is worth a risk.

I do focus on his eyes and…

“LEGILIMENS!” I never put so much power into a spell, not even with MacDonald.

No, Mary…

I’m easily inside and… his mind is a chaos or destruction or nothingness? Anything here was broken, destroyed, painted with pain and agony and…

I’m inside and I’m feeling it and I’m on fire. So this is after- effect of cruciatus curse…

It hurt.

A lot, but… this pain is worth it! Little by little I’m trying to piece together memories and feelings and parts of his mind.

For many days…

The torture… I experience it by his mind so many times, I’m not sure if I am not the one being tortured anymore… only after releasing his mind and crying out my heart I know it.

I know it, but…

Can _**this Tom**_ , from these memories, can be _**my Tom** **?**_ I can’t accept it, I just… it is another dagger into my heart I suppose.

I’m fixing and fixing and… it is working. I can do it. Maybe…

But I need time and they are here already, in Cokeworth. Tom has come to search for me here. If I know any other muggle time enough to not be noticed... with Evan around I couldn't risk not knowing a surrounding or getting lost and leaving him for too long.

Damn my luck. Thanks to the legilimens’y I am too tired to even try to run again with him. I can transfigure him and hide, but… they will find us eventually, we need to eat too.

So last desperate attempt to get him back, to get my friend and my own psychopath back.

Diving into his mind has become so smooth I am not even noticing it. I saw it all already, his life and emotion and how much he cares for me. Even if out of boredom, I always knew this part.

He has always been saying it loud enough.

“EVAN” I know I am inside his mind and that would give me nothing, at worst I had screamed outside too, but… I have a feeling.

Instinct that it is a right course of action. That I am to do it. That it will help.

“Severus?” oh, I got into the only place I have never been to yet. To the core of his mind. The essence of his mind. He let me in as I screamed…

“Evan, we need to move, please, come back! We will talk after we run away or… or Tom will not be lenient with either of us. I deceived him recently, you see, so he might be pissed off.”

He blinks at me. I missed so much his astonished blinking when I does something so stupid or so amazing.

“Oh, you have gone and done it, then? I had to wait long enough for this, don’t you think? I was always curious if you can trick _Him_. Looks like it is possible” he smiles sheepishly and I smile back.

“Yes, it is.”

“When I woke up, where we’re running to?” I think about it for a moment and the decision is quick.

“We can’t go back or he will kill you and I will go back to being a plant. So… we’re running to opposition.”

Now he frown at me.

Yes, I would do so as well.

“You want to deflect to Dumbledore?” Don’t insult me, Evan.

“Of course not, we’re going to Potter, hide there and pay back them saving me so I could save you, then we’re either sending letter with apologies and waiting for Tom to forgive and escaping out of the country. Simple, isn’t it?”

“Well, you’re angry at Him, aren’t you?” This question I am dreaded to answer even to myself, but...

“No. _I am furious with Tom_ for what he did to you and… and Mr Potter” seeing his confusion “ He’s dead”

“I’m sorry for your lose, Severus.” I smile a little more sadly at that. It means a lot to me, having you back.

“Yes, yes, you will say so to the host as well, come on, I might have scream and then… then he’s on the way. Take my hand, I will lead you”

“Through my mind? Sev, Sev, I might know it better than you, you know?”

You would be surprised.

“Don’t think so, I fixed it from the very first memory you had to now, I saw all of it, you know?”

Widening eyes and paling face says enough he understood I saw the torture as well. We do not comment on it at all. Getting out of his labyrinth after so many times takes only a moment.

I’m back to the reality…

I blink hard and prepare my wand just in case. Adrenaline and happiness give me strength. We’re short on time.

“Evan?”

“Oh, shit, I think I was practically dead, wasn’t I?” he ask in his ‘oh-I–was-so-bored' tone. This makes me so happy to have him back he can’t imagine.

He’s my best friend after all.

We hear a steps coming closer. Hiding behind some old, rusty machination and nearly stopped breathing. It is up to who these people are to decide the course of action. They are always underestimating muggle’s after all, they won't give these things another look.

“Where is he?” out of all people… Avery? Mulciber? Seriously, they have no one else.

“Be careful, idiot, we are to find him and sent signal, not try to fight.”

One glance at Evan and he’s going around and specially makes sound. Of course, not thinking that it can be a trap, their head snapped in the direction and I cast both ** _Muffialo_** , the version for wider area, and **_Levicourpus_** , silently, followed by two, fast **_Experlliarmus_**.

They will never learn, would they? Before they can try to talk, threaten or anything, **_Langlock_** for fashion and throwing one wand to Evan. He tries it and it react, little poorly, but beggars don’t complain.

Or deserters.

We wave them for goodbye, some mocking bow and Evan sent them, ugrh, kisses for a wand. How could he even stand sending them it, I do not know.

Even to mock them, I do not know.

I’m changing into the cat and Evan cast ** _Disillusioned_** spell on both of us. Slowly, like a snake and snake-cat, we’re moving away – slowly not to brought any attention – until we get to the sewers, where we (Evan) cast the spell against bad smells silently and we dive into it.

Argh, no one said running away is so disgusting, but… better this than what Tom will give us (Evan) for our actions, so…

Then we are running forward as fast as we can until we’re completely tired.

“So, where are these Potters?”

“No idea, I know where to find headquarters through. Come on, someone will be there. At worst, we will just move away from their area of search.”

Evan nods and we’re both **_Scorgify_** the ground and ourselves and try to catch a breath before going forward. We need to steal some food later as well…

Nothing unmanageable. The world seems to regain some colors again. I do wonder how…

_**James’ pov** _

He’s not here. He left. Just like that, after being saved, he left and is probably being hunted now, Albus said ‘ _that Tom knows’_.

What a guy, you can save him and he will go on and have himself killed. And he was animagus and never told us!

Cat none the less! Completely black one, McGonagal said and everyone , but not us, knew. Well, he had reason not to trust us completely with ‘Moony incident’, but well, I kind of thought he does.

Anyway, I’m not going to search for the guy again. Next time, he would need to come and asked for help!

“Hej, gonna let us in?” I am startled and… what? Severus? And… **_EVAN ROSIER?_** The actual fuck?

“Yo, we come to intrude, how is it?” I have no words to say, so I let them in. Better do it than let those bastards catch up to them. I show them - Rosier idiot - a paper with an address and they get in.

“Wait a moment, I will call Dumbledore…” 

They seem to ignore me in favor of the bed, worse, the same bed as they didn’t want to move a step further, so they lie on the first noticed…

“Take your time!”

“Love you, Potter!”

I will definitely don’t take my time or I will go crazy with them!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoo!  
> Hope you like it.  
> The very first chapter or second I ever wrote my sis liked!! Even tried to chock me for next... well, I had just written it at the time so of course there was no more!   
> Niceee day, everyone, thank you all for comments! and kudos! and reading!!


	3. Psychopath's is here!

**_Albus’ pov_ **

When I got the signal from James about Severus’ sudden come back, I was surprised. The letter did suggest a long time apart, not merely few weeks.

What has changed?

The answer was literally lying on the bed next to him.

It took me a few seconds to compose myself. The rumors told that he’s dead…

“Yo, headmaster, how do you do?” his more casual greetings woke me up.

“I would daresay that I am fine, Mr Rosier, lemon drop?”

“Thank you! I am quite hungry, you see, you can only steal so much and not brought their attention when they are searching for you. Muggle sweets will do too.”

And without hesitation he ate the sweet. Well, maybe he is way more interesting than initially I thought. I have made assumption that he is a little of a… psychopath and therefore dangerous. Was I mistaken?

“ We heard you were not in the best condition… is it sudden improvement have anything to do with Mr Snape deep asleep?” He smiles in response, with both mischief and malicious intent… he is one, it seems.

“Ah, Sev here, you see, overwork himself by fixing me, you know? He manage to put me together once again” someone else would think about moral support. I could tell he meant legilimency… so he was tortured, just not killed.

It is even worse…

It should also not be possible to fix ‘so easily’ such a damage, but… if his mind is really as I think it is, a mind of psychopath, then thanks to its tidiness, it could be possible. Theoretically, if one were to get through the memories, especially painful ones, repeatedly.

Oh my boy…

“I suppose Mr Snape need a lot of sleep then. What are you going to do?”

He is looking as if he is thinking, but I can tell it is a fake. He already knows.

“We’re paying a debt, you see. I will help you for some time as a repayment. Sev said so and I won’t disagree. Moreover Dark Lord is looking for us, for him, so we kind of need to get help from you.”

“You don’t like Tom very much now, do you?”

“Oh, I start to hate him after he pulled Sev out back in six year and forbade even letters to me to some extent. And then he took the rest of his freedom. Of course I am not too keen on the idea to go back. He will still put Severus in that state or imprison him in some other way. I know it and you know it and Severus know it. But this time, there will be more guards, more chains and no chance for escaping. And I will be killed for sure. Not the best prospect.”

“Not the best” I do agree. The situation for him looks worse than bad.

“You will let him rest?” Evan Rosier asked me if I let the tired young man to sleep?

“Of course, I will. He needs it, doesn’t he?”

“Yea, he does…” suddenly his eyes move a little to right and smiles show up again “ Hello, Siri!! You missed me?”

Ah, they are here. Many of Order’s members, who were actually available.

“You!?!” Of course, they are shocked. There is no one out there thinking this young man is still alive. “ How come you’re here!? Everyone says you’re dead!”

His cousin only laughed at that.

“Oh, it is accurate, Siri, I was ‘dead’ in mind. Not much left after _He_ ventured his anger at me, I tell you. The sole memory makes me want to slit my own throat or took poison to never go through it again. How do you do, Siri?”

As if lost for words, first time I see this phenomena, he replied.

“Fine…”

“Yea, Yea, we’re all happy and all, but can you get moving a little? Lily should sit down too!” James of course, I remember they got quite alright with each other for a Slytherin and Gryffindor, this means they didn’t hex each other to hurt.

“Oh, I’m so hurt Potter, you didn’t miss me at all!” and make a pouted face. Oh, to be young…

Lily did laugh at it and has tears in eyes. If anyone here, outside Severus, can make people not believe they are ever predictable, it is her. Always shining like a sunshine, probably the brightest witch of her era.

She did hug Rosier boy and he got so quiet and a little shocked, he didn’t make a remark. Marauders only started laughing.

“Welcome in the world of living, we missed you a lot” and this way Evan Rosier lost his… drive. The rest manage to arrive meanwhile.

“Albus, kid seriously come bac…” he spotted Rosier and… “ On Merlin’s beard, we thought you dead, kid!”

“Yea, me too” he admitted with a little less comical effort than before. The rest reacted similar, Minerva, Peter, MacDonald, Vance, Longbottoms, Meadows and McKinnon… Those not present had more important things to do.

“Welcome, as you can see we have our quest back with another one. I hope you will show them a full hospitality.”

“But Albus, isn’t he his…” started Vance, but was interrupted by me.

“ Yes, Tom Riddle is his guardian, it doesn’t change a thing, he’s not a secret keeper and can’t reveal this location and I am sure he won’t share the area of its location, which is not his to tell, he’s honorable boy. Besides, as you can see, he’s asleep and Mr Rosier here has no reason to told Tom anything, it seems. They interest contradict each other!”

“Hello companierous!” he shout as being mentioned, but was more in attention to using Mr Snape face to make a funny expression and this make both our boys and girls close to them trying not to laugh “ He never smiles like this. It would suit him, don’t you think?” this is the moment James didn’t take it and start laughing openly.

“Gentlemens, can you stop for a moment? You can go back to this a little later, I assure you?” He looked at me like a beaten dog and stopped.

“Thank you” now turning my head back to others “I hope you all will treat him respectfully.”

“We know the reason why Riddle even lock him up?” asked Alaster, ah, always constant vigilante, especially with Fleamont…

I can’t think about it now.

“It is not one to share for now, Alastor” It can’t be shared, no matter what “ I’m sure when the time come, he will tell us. For now… let’s move on to another room and let him get his needed rest. Shall we?” Evan Rosier thanks me with a nod of his head and go back to observing Severus.

He knew it too, not to dwell on whatever Tom wanted.

A good friend you got there, Mr Snape.

So the meeting and details which can be shared with everyone start now.

And later some talks with a specific individual, so no one else can know.

We have much to do…

**_Lucius’ pov_ **

At least he’s alive, but after getting information of his ‘come back’ to Order along with nearly full-functioning Evan Rosier, _He_ got even more angry.

We are to stay and wait for any way in which we can capture him. Actually, _He_ had a spy within their ranks. Impressive, looking at how Dumbledore is choosing his people.

Now, we have a meeting about what to do. I did notice Rosier Sr is not especially happy with his son’s miraculous recovery.

And many others dread the consequences.

“We won’t get anything this way. Abraxas, try to keep up our politic profile, I will continue my own role. I was… distracted lately and it may shown soon. We can’t afford this.” Oh, it will. “Orion, how is taking over the rest of important position?”

“Smoothly, my Lord. Soon, no one whose not on our side will have good enough position to make problem. The worst which is left is… Barty Croach Sr.”

“Ah, father of our newest member, isn’t it true?” his eyes looked in the direction of a young man, barely out of Hogwart, which felt a shiver of excitement at being called. _It shows…_

“Yes, my Lord” his voice was confident and full of pride. Idiot.

“Good, keep tabs on him then. Now, Bella, how is the search?” everyone kept their breath.

This was a theme of taboo. Only Dark Lord can ask and only _Him_. In _His_ eyes no one else should care…

For a moment _His_ eyes snapped to me and I fast emptied my mind from those treacherous thoughts, I did miss Severus, but I wanted to live none the less. Thanks good Narcissa taught me the basic of occlumency…

 _He_ gestured to continue as if nothing happened…

“My Lord, if the source is truthful, then we have to wait until he is out of Dumbledore’s control zone…” Bella never liked to admit to failure.

Maybe it is better she did. Whatever would happen to them later…

“He won’t stay there long” said the Dark Lord confidently “ He hates control of people, who he feels don’t deserve the power over him. Dumbledore failed him so many times. He have gone back there to make sure your son, Rosier, has a place to recover. He won’t stay there long also not to paint them as a target. He will try to do the role of a decay to pay back the debt he believe he has. He’s no coward, Bella, and he is aware I won’t kill him, **_but will kill them._** His way of thinking efficiently has never changed, unfortunately or maybe fortunately? So… just wait. Be cautious through. As much as possible.”

“Yes, my Lord! I won’t fail you.”

“Oh, you won’t. The moment you see him, call me. If he manage to… overpower or out -tricked your team, then he will have another surprise…”

Severus… wherever you are, stay there.

Don’t leave, you idiot.

He’s hunting for you… personally.

**_Me:_ **

_Later…_

Maybe they should have expected it, Tom Riddle knew him the most, but neither Order or Marauders or even great Albus Dumbledore would predict that the boy disappears the same night, the very same night Dark Lord Voldemort told of this practically sure situation to his people.

When Peter Petegrew come to him with this information, he only laughed aloud.

The game, no , the hunt starts again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so much lost in my mind you have no idea ;-; I wished I could occlude.


	4. Gryffindor's foolishness

**_Sirius’ pov_ **

I can’t believe it!

And to thought I thought this time he would stay.

James was right, that git is a suicidal! Just suicidal!! Who normally go out from Fidelis to be on your own when the Ministry through its Minister, all those death eaters scums and Voldemort himself is going after you?

Is it really that hard to understand that it is the worst idea possible?

I think not so.

Evan is mostly silent, but answered it.

“I knew he would do it. He wants me to live. He wants you guys to live… This is the reason for that pink collar at twelve, he’s way too self-sacrificing Gryffindor for a Slytherin…”

“I told you he would fit in!” James… we all know he is a Gryffindor at heart, come on… no need to argue now again like for the last 2 years of school… We’re right anyway.

“It is not a point and he’s not always like this, only 10% of times! Normally he is more of a Slytherin than most!!”

“Yea? Don’t think so, but he would fit better in our house!”

“No, Potter, he fit just well in Slytherin, we just don’t go around hugging others!”

“You did hug me!”

“It was different situation and I tried to kiss you too! Why you let this part out?”

“Huh?” Lily and I both reacted similarly and seeing James oh so red face we burst with laughter.

But…

“Then let’s find him subtly. When we do, we knock him out and bring him by force!” The mix of both should work!

Evan only shakes his head… What is wrong with him?

“You alone can’t do it. Two on one? Maybe. But he has been taught by the Dark Lord himself, half the dark arts he knows, all people here never heard of. If he is set dead on not coming, you won’t make him easily…”

Oh.

I forgot he never talks about it around us and that he might know some, but surely this is…

“And before you contradict, his talent in Dark Arts is comparable to the one for spell-crafting and potion. Don’t try, better, to say otherwise…”

Damn, he’s that good in that shit? Of course he would never told us… and he did stop Moony with them… _How again we forgot this little fact?_

“So… what are we going to do? Wait until they found him and take away?”

No one answered me.

For a longer moment.

“No” James? “ We’re going, we are searching and then we make him see sense, even if he won’t understand in the beginning, we will make him see the point. He can’t endanger himself like that. Maybe he won’t be killed, but what about torture? And life like that is worse than death. Let’s try! We’re not Gryffindors and rebellious Slytherin for nothing! We are the Marauders plus a pair of psychopaths!!”

First reaction was laughter, but the moment it passed, it all changed to a serious nod.

Their friend needed them, after all.

**_Severus’ pov_ **

_Damn, they are everywhere!_

Even as a cat among cat, it is so hard to hide. It is a month already…

It must be a bad joke. I’m constantly moving and moving and I can’t spent in any town, no matter how many people lives there, more than a few days, this kind of lifestyle is slowly becoming a nightmare. Finding a place to change back and be myself for a little is even harder. All factors are being one of the first place they are checking after coming and they like to check them just as much as all those stupid paper box.

So mostly I am hiding between some suspicious streets or other holes… sometimes I do find a abandoned property, but before anything, I am observing it. There were few, which were actually a trap for me.

Seriously, they thought I would not see…

Any kind of peace last short and never for more than a few hours. So I had to sleep, eat and take a shower in the lake as a cat … Being an escapist is hard. Especially that they ignore all cats, which are not completely black after casting **_Scorgify,_** so I can’t use camouflage and they are moving way faster in their investigation. They have gained more experience, I would say.

Now I am in yet another place.

Not even three hours of rest pass, when out of all people she came to search **_here_**. That… Black of blood. _Insane Bella._ I’m trying to look like a shadow, it works just fine, but after 2 hours she has started torturing in frustration… a little girl.

Around six or seven years old year little muggle girl…

No… No, it is just a child…

I’m trying to use all of my will power and strength and occlumency not to go over to save her, but…

Lestrange is uttering first word of **that curse** and I know, I know she’s going to kill her…

I…

I have no idea why my body moved on its own like this, but the thought of the child, the child in the same age as when I was saved at, being killed, is too terrified. Too inhumane. _Too familiar._

**_Too wrong._ **

So I am moving fast and gracious and with all the sharpness my paws possess, I am scratching her face somewhere and then proceed to bite her hand hard enough for her to let her wand go – I can clearly feel blood between my teeth, inside my mouth…

I waste no time, change into human and like a ( oh my Merlin, no) Gryffindor apparate from there with her, leave her alone and apparate **_anywhere else_**.

Ministry know now where I am.

_Tom knows._

Even without her informing him, I have no time… I need to hide, I can’t outrun him on the open space as here. My experience says that his people are already surrounding the place and outside the buildings, there is nothing much to hide behind.

As a cat, a little puddle, I am between an especially hard-spotted place. My only chance is to wait it up.

**_He’s here…_ **

And Bellatrix manage to come here as well, furious and with one damaged eye… serves her right.

Instead of going around and searching, he’s… closing his eyes and meditating? _After a moment I can feel it._

A momentary touch of the mind, blocked fast by my occlumency shield...

_Shit._

**_No._ **

He is smiling widely while looking in my direction and coming closer…

Damn, I didn’t know you can found someone like that!! I’m trying to get through the hole to be behind the opposite wall, but I have no chance.

He’s not playing a game today.

 ** _“Accio Severus”_** he said nearly lazily and at the same time with not contained excitement… and I can feel my body being sucked away and before I can try to change back and apparate or fight or anything, another one is cast and I can’t.

I can’t change back, I can’t go back to being human… **_I can’t use magic to fight._**

Shit…

“Hello, Severus, I did miss you a lot, you see? It was nice of you to let me know where to find you. Before dear Bella would make a call and I come, you could have easily hide or run or kill her if you wished. Thank you for your cooperation. Let’s go home now, hmm?” He may be smiling, but I know this feeling, this dread and fear and knowing, just knowing, that there is nothing I can do.

Last time I felt it, it was… not even with werewolf… or vow… or Evan’s extreme treatment…

I remember this feelings from that moment I realized mom is dying and dad is going to kill me… so I still my movement.

It is the end.

I lost.

.

.

.

“Severus, are you even listening?” What? I was… out of it, so I suppose not. We’re ’home’…“Maybe he did hit his head or so. I will ask healer later.” Tom just want my attention, but… I’m still angry with him. And afraid. Being a cat makes primal instincts stronger, huh? Maybe this is why I did something so utterly stupid. “Stop trying to ignore me, nothing will change and nothing will be forgiven with such a altitude”

My heads snaps.

Forgiven?! Forgiven!?? I know my eyes reflect perfectly fine what I think of this forgiveness at the moment… when you were not around, I missed you terrible, even when I was furious. **_Now, I am just furious._**

“My, my, Abraxas, is all kids rebelling at this age?” he dare to pet my head and I try to scratch him “Leave us, Bella, Radolphus. You are not needed in this talk.”

Talk. Ha. I will not talk with you.

In defiance I do try to turn away my head, but…he’s keeping me in a iron grip. Bugger you, Tom.

I manage to, somehow, get out with biting him in the finger – cheat move, I know – but… I hit something immediately afterwards and all goes black…

Damn my rotten luck.

**_Orion’s pov_ **

Severus doesn’t seem to listen at all now. Tom seems not to see it… or that his finger… it bleed a little.

“Tom…” Abraxas started, interrupting himself at the same time, likely not knowing what precisely to say, but then we heard hissing and Tom’s head snapped to Nagini…

**_“SSssss SssSs sSs SSSS sssSs sssssSS sSSSS Ss”_ **

**_“SsSs sSSs SSS”_ **

**_“SS SSs ssSss ssS”_ **

Seems like a conversation and… he pays more _careful_ attention to Severus now.

“Severus? He’s really unconscious… I suppose I should let him change back… but I have to take his wand away first… Maybe I will let him rest then as a cat and later disperse this one off.”

“What are you going to do now, Tom, that you got him back?” of course, this is Abraxas for you, most important question now.

“Tell the prophet he was found, but in… a poor condition. He is sick and need some time to get back to health. Then we will proceed with original plan. I made few mistakes with Dumbledore, but in case I can use the fact of existence of vow and werewolf to silence it. Neither he or I will play on those, I think.”

_He is back to normal._

Like that, he is back to being the same Tom from little over one year ago? That kid really does a miracle of a difference…

At least, all is good in the end.

“Understand, Tom, maybe you should… obliviate him?” it is a dangerous game, Abraxas… “ Before you say anything, consider. He is aware you had a hand in killing Potter and tortured Evan _personally_. Even waking up won’t change it. This is the fact, _his facts_ , and it won’t dissolve itself easily.”

Tom grimaced before answering.

“His natural, basic shields are enough to stop it.” You tried it? For what?

“Can’t they be broken? Anyone’s can be.” I point out. Tom only smiles proudly in the response.

“No, his not. His basic, first shield for intruder is a mist like thing, it can’t be broken, only avoid and… it does stop most oblivation now, got so improved over years, so big one won’t work anymore.”

Oh, natural kid, sure.

“So… we will leave him to you, Tom. I am allowed to inform Lucius?”

“Yes, it is not a problem. I’m sorry that you can’t do the same with Regulus, Orion, he’s more lonely now… “

“Me too, have a good day, Tom.”

I have definitely enough surprise for one day.

One last look behind and it is all so clear. He’s so much more peaceful, it is hard to imagine he was ready to kill hundreds of muggles out of frustration just a few hours ago…

We really barely made it in time. Apparation was Severus’ mistake and our saving grace. Killing off all people living in Cokeworth would be a mistake.

The one we would have greatly paid for.

If only I could just give Regulus back his memories…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to Trickster32 for advise, I decided to eave those now and think about next more! See you soon, thanks for all comments and kudos!!


	5. Nothing better than having an interesting 'boss'

**_Tom’s pov_ **

I got him back finally! It is as if I can breathe again. This bad sensation is gone too. Some of the mistake I made lately are… so obvious.

And now he will hate me as well.

I failed big this time, didn’t I?

**_*flashbacks mix*_ **

I have left him a book mentioning them during the last Christmas. As a way to get him to know about horcrux beforehand.

Maybe it is a reason he was so pale when he come home, despite being the best graduate in his year.

Maybe it is the reason why he was so quiet and worried. I was happy, he was to stay with me, I could include him in more things, in more activities, I wouldn’t have to let him go most of the time.

I couldn’t wait for this day and yet, there was another thing to do first.

Beating my fear, beating his death and prepare for the future I am to built.

What could have failed?

For the first two week, I left only a few signs which showed what I want him to do. A little riddle here, a little remark there.

I knew he understand it. It was given. The fact he didn’t answer on them made me feel unnerved. It would suggest a refusal and Severus, being so bright and impressive and smart would surely see the reason for this.

Surely…

Then at the beginning of the third week, I made my move.

“Severus, you must have… understood what I implied, did you?” The answer was important, all relied on it.

“Yes, I… I do, but I don’t understand… is it… is something like that even necessary? I can do without it…”

It was not an outright refusal, it is true, but he doubts. He can’t have them if he were to create horcrux… It is too dangerous, the drawback could even kill him…

“It is necessary, Severus. Can you do it for me? For my peace of mind?” I know pleading like that is beneath me, but his doubts can only be dispersed like this…

Reluctantly, he said yes, for me I am sure, but it was enough. By the time I will make a serious move in this direction, he will get rid of the rest of his useless doubts. For sure, my request would be enough for it.

Next talk about it happened a week later. I wanted to be sure… it was also the first time he occluded in a way I didn’t recognize it at first and lied to me with the word: yes. _No, he lied to himself_ , deception like the one he once told me as a twelve years old, _he mastered it._

I understood it way, way later.

I was too happy to see it for what it was: a way to satisfied me. A lie to make me feeling better. If only I did…

The next time was when the hell, mine and his and this worlds’, has started. Everything was ready. Sacrifice, a ring which I gave him when he was twelve, incantation, spell, even circumstances…

Everything, but him.

_He broke._

“Tom… I can’t… _I was trying_ to deceive myself that I can do it… but lie will always stay a lie… I’m sorry I can’t do it… not even for you…”

_***end of the flashbacks*** _

And my fear resurfaced with double force back then, so much anger and disappointment filled me and FEAR. Oh, how I hated that moment. I knew I won’t just let it go, I knew… So I, in my anger and fear, decided to… stop him.

Preserve him until he say yes and we can go on. So nothing of his life will be lost to me. So I can go back to not fear.

The moment I finished the potion and procedure of administrating it, I felt so empty. Nothing made me even marginally happy, absolutely nothing. In the beginning I stare at him for a long time, but it was too painful with knowledge I made him so… dead. Even if alive, he was ‘dead’ in metaphorical sense of life. No will. No mind. No heart. No feeling.

He was empty.

Like I become. Oh, how it shown me the great need I have of him and only made me more and more stubborn in trying to convince him!

And more disappointed with the failure after failure.

All of it for nothing. Now I can see it, his problem wasn’t _not wanting to do it for me_ , _he was not capable of doing it even for me_. So simple and I just missed it. Even when Severus told me quit plainly the same. Fear is a terrifying tool, I daresay.

Days become useless, people annoying and I wanted blood to make up for it all. Oh, violence could make my heart beat a little more, at the very least. So I start to more and more condom it, enforce it… The moment I decided to kill Potter…. After all it is his fault that Severus can’t do it! He was poisoning his mind, **_or so I thought._** Idiocy, really, but kept me together. At least for most of the time.

And then Evan Rosier’s case… I can see why Severus would rather want to stay away… I scared him. The part of me I have never shown him come out and he witnessed it all though Rosier’s mind.

But still, getting him back… it felt so right, so happy.

I felt real once again. So I will just start to work toward him forgetting these and… put off horcrux project for now. I might have wanted too much of him, I mean, he’s still so young… I should not go after my own fear, but logic.

No matter if as a human or in his animagus form, keeping him close again feels good.

“Good night, Severus, I’m sorry…” I do say once again.

I haven’t felt so in peace for ages.

.

.

.

When I opened my eyes again, the other pair of black coil was looking straight at me, framed in a dark fur.

_Severus._

I do smile and he avert his gaze.

Right, he’s angry with me for good reasons. He will be for some time… “Good morning, Severus, I will let you go back to being human, after breakfast healer had to see you, is it fine?” a little more choice should make him feel better, even if the choice is not completely his, right?

He’s still not looking at me. Ah, but for everything we need to make effort to get it, to deserve it. Trust falls into this category as well.

“I do take it as yes as you can’t tell me now” a silence counter and I wait. Now he need to want to change back on his own. I do not try to make him hurry up or anything. We need to go slowly.

Finally he looks back at me in defiance and… go back to sleep.

Not with me those tricks and you know it.

“Severus, I will put a spell on back if you don’t change now. I am to confiscate your wand for a time being.” He don’t like the idea, obviously, but complied. There is a revealing spell and I don’t really want to use it on you, Severus, and you don’t want it as well.

He looks awful. Worse than awful, he has obviously spent most of the time as a cat and he needs some more rest and other activities to get himself in better, normal shape. One year of coma haven’t helped as well…

I am taking a wand and he is lying down once again, as a human this time. I do shake my head and move over to the desk. I have work and he needs rest. He is for now treating me silently, it will pass.

I do order Cooply to get him something light to eat, get him sorted in the bathroom and for sure change these cloths from Dumbledore...

And burn those.

Nagini will additionally observe him all the time, she is more than enough of constant vigilante, he can still try to run away as a cat. Not that ward are letting any cat out of here. My newest invention, I would say, is quite useful already.

**_Alastor’s pov_ **

Kid survive way longer than I thought.

Albus haven’t joked when he said he is nothing like those scums he has been brought up among. Nothing like a coward of the purebloods’ who were afraid of little dust. He’s a _survivor_ and he manage to hide for **_one month._**

Of no apparating, of being hunted by magic signature to reduce the area of search, of being hunted by someone like Riddle, of little food and no comfort.

Kid is tough.

And they finally got him. Ministry is _officially_ so happy that he was found alive – they believe he got lost in his search for some rare potion ingredients – and I am summoned to **_Minister’s office_**. I do wonder, does he want to kill me? Interrogate me as once before, the day after his shouting at Albus? Arrest me for some useless reason?

Well, not going is not a option if I want to keep in a possible scenario the position among aurors. We need people there with how many positions are being taken over.

Bloody supremacists scums.

A nod, a verification and I am going inside. My future is to be decided here and now. If I die, I will tell Fleamont that his son is fine and that boy still alive, if not a prisoner of a madman.

He’s strange. More like before. Nothing like that day and that torture.

“Ah, auror Moody, welcome, come in!” and cheerful, too much for my taste. I won’t address him as a ‘Sir’ with respect anyway. Dying is dying, no matter the pain before.

I will be damned if I beg for mercy. Or sit down and stop being vigilante enough.

I suppose he’s aware as he does not invite me to.

Bloody legilimenses.

Both of them.

“Well, I suppose you’re not aware of the reason for this summon, are you?” playing the hard to predict? We both know what it is about!

“I have my own suspicious” he only laughed at that. Too brightly for my taste when it comes to him.

“I assure you that you are wrong. You see…” he cast some spell before continuing “Recently I get back someone important to me, I am sure you are aware of this” malicious, finally showing his real colors.

Can I get a hit before death? I need to wait for a opening…

“What if I am, Sir” it was the most mocking ‘sir’ ever said by me. No respect what some.

“Then it makes it easier, I need your team to do a personal job for me, you do it and in exchange your two little underlings, _who for sure share your passion for muggle sweets_ , won’t get either hurt or moved somewhere where ‘ _accidents happens a lot’_ ” if not for a smile, all else of his got to another level of evil intent.

Before it was more of a insanity. _Now he’s truly dangerous._

“Threatening me, are you?” you little piece of evil shit…

“Oh no, I am giving you such a good deal. You do it, then you and Longbottoms won’t be severe inconvenienced in the future. Such a young marriage, they sure are in love with each others?” that mocking tone… You think you can order us around like this? I would choose death.

As would they.

He only laughs more, perfectly knowing my feelings toward it.

“Think about it, you have time until tomorrow to make up your mind, Auror Moody. Tomorrow, the same hour, you are to be here with an answer. Don’t be late.” The narrowing of his eyes and dread going through my skin and spine are enough.

I need to talk to Albus…

Practically running away from him, yes , he can fill you with fear with a glare when he want to, I need more than a cup of tea before any contact. Making sure that we’re save from any eavesdropping is also important. 

“Albus?”

“Alastor!! Are you fine? How was the call? You didn’t contact me and everyone was worried…”

I am still…

“Albus, the case is strange, he threaten me and said he has a job for my squad. He visible knows about Longbottoms, you think that the kid would…”

“No, he never saw them. I checked and Rosier didn’t tell him as well.” I nod. So there is another leak then or the kid look into his friend’s mind.

All equally possible.

“I was even given time to over think it, but ‘no’ means Frank and Alice are in real danger, ‘yes’ and we might be in trouble. Your thoughts?”

The fire is silent for a moment, before the answer come.

“We should risk it, Alastor. He can just as good order your death and we both know it. It is better to see what he wants. At worst… give up the position in Ministry and run. Don’t risk unnecessary, old friend. We have already lost Fleamont…”

I nod again. Potter’s death is still a scorn in my eye… We both miss him. Damn it.

“Then I will say yes as if only to know what a devilish deed he needs of a auror like me, who he is aware of the connection with you.”

I might be truly dead tomorrow, better to eat something good tonight.

“Stay safe and come back to us, Alastor. We can’t lose you as well”

I do not answer to this. The one we can’t lose is not me by any chance, but you. Pointing it out is not a good idea.

He will just remember about Fleamont once again… If he was alive and here, the kid would stay if he asked. The conclusion is simple, if painful. Missing him will never help us through…

_Next day…_

Again in this hellish room.

“So… you thought over my request?”

He’s playing with me, the bastard!

“I have not much to think about, have I? I don’t even know the job, so how can I call it a request?” he chuckle at that. Right devil bastard, he is.

“Now, now, it is just a direct request from your Minister, it will not be hard either for you or Longbottoms” What?

“You’re going to mix them into it?!” NO, I can’t let them get killed for nothing…

“Of course, you alone won’t manage, he could trick better than you without a wand, none the less.” Wait, _he_? What the hell is he talking about? “ I need your team as a minder for Severus, I did say it is a personal request, didn’t I?”

I think my eyeballs are trying to leave the hole they were destined to stay in. Did I hear him right?

“You want us to observe your ward? Have we changed a career to a caregiver instead of an aurors?” not that is does not suit me, more information about the kid may be needed.

“Only Nagini as a minder can be… tricky as he refused to talk to me or her… he needs a little change in environment, you or one of the Longbottoms will come before my house every day and I will let you in, you can make the graphic on your own, then stay there until I am back. Wards won’t let anyone out if I don’t want it anyway. Of course you’re free to use common things in house, just don’t dare to touch my books or privates room, neither mine or Severus’ if you don’t have to drag him from there for a meal. It should not be that hard, right?”

He’s smiling and I am feeling dread in the stomach again.

“What is the catch here?” there must be.

“Catch? Well, you are to observe a young boy, an animagus, who could fool Walburga Black into embarrassment at the age of seven. It is a catch in itself. See you tomorrow, I suppose, Auror Moody.”

Damn, now I need to talk with Albus even more!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another exam I passed today, one more in Monday and two more kolos next week plus SO many reports to turn in! I hate my life ;-;  
> Hope you like the chapter, thanks for all comment and advise!


	6. Tales not heard before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I expected more of: why!? and how he manage to found him?! and why not used it before etc.   
> Yes, he used it on the whole town before [first part ] , but it has its limit too, that legilimency search, and is dangerous as he let the shield down completely and is exhausted. Plus the more wizard around, the harder it is to localize the person among others. AND it is completely my imagination too. I have no idea if it is possible to do it with legilimency!

**_Severus’ pov_ **

There were changes as expected, but were milder than I thought.

Or rather he increase them, along with this little imprisonment, little by little the same way he has been doing to public… As if it would put me at easy! I’m not so daft and naïve as most those people, no, thank you.

The moment he realized I stopped talking, well completely, with anyone, was the moment he started to worry more and by extension tried to maneuver me into talking. Few times it was a close call and I barely stopped myself.

I was wrong before too. Time do not heal wounds **_that fast._**

I may not care about my coma anymore, I am not even sure if I have ever cared about it, but… killing Mr Potter… torturing to insanity Evan… anger for this didn’t even mellowed a little.

Memories from that night of pain I do still hold inside my head and sometimes they invade my dreams… So livid, so scary… by the end of it, I always wish to die…

_Without exception._

I have asked myself a stupid question and… no, I am not afraid of Tom. Not as much as I should after witnessing it. If he ever… decide to do it to me, I will escape inside my mind and feel nothing of this hellish torture. I would be as good as dead at the time anyway. Not that he seems to want to torture me.

Not at all, for sure not to that extend. Still, better to have a plan B.

Lately, seeing how withdrawn I am, he asked **_Bellatrix Lestrange ‘nee Black_** to take care of me. I think he might have told it a little not too clear as she did torture me with crucio for all 10 second until Nagini bit her leg and forced to stopped. It was the only time I talked to her, telling her not to kill and not tell. I even had to give that… an antidote. What a waste.

Nagini was happy enough to hear me to stop and complied and Tom had no idea about it. Thanks Merlin Bella has not enough nerve to hurt Nagini or I would kill her with my own hands. I have no wish for Tom to torture anyone anymore because of me.

**_To kill anyone because of me._ **

After that I just change into cat and let her put herself me around. You ask why cat? She can’t hug me too tightly as one and not that I do not miss her or I am angry with her or anything, but treating her normally would make Tom think I’m getting less angry.

_Mistake._

Anyway, I have so many tracking spells on me and one in the form of collar that running away is pointless for now. It is even visible as I change into animagi. Tom himself designed this one. At least it is black.

Thanks Merlin for small mercies one would say.

So, after the first not too good ‘caretaker’, seeing me as even less happy – I have tried not to twitch as a after-cruciatus effect – he decided to find someone less connected to himself to broke the ice as muggle’s says.

Hearing them and their talking through the month of being an escapist left a lot of their wording in my head. And I know some from my childhood…

I expected many things.

I wasn’t prepared for auror Moody of all people to come and in stress and embarrassing and shame at being captured I changed into the cat and hide between the wardrobe and closet. I does it a lot more lately. Worse, I barely made it there even with such a little body…

I can hear Tom’s voice from outside of my hideout…

“He usually don’t react like this, wait a moment, auror Moody” he’s clearly worried and can perfectly well guess where I am. Nagini tells him and she located me with a smell. A hand is trying to take me and I bite it.

_Hard._

Not that it would stop him or anything…

“Come on, Severus, nothing is happening, you’re fine” I was fine a moment before, completely safe from embarrassment from being visible out there. Worse, now I am feeling guilty at hurting you as you bleed. Just bloody great. “ Maybe it was not the best idea, should I ask Bella to come in the end…?” my head snapped as if on commend and with this I am trying to get out of his arms. Not that I can, but the thought of her makes me sick “Or not… well, we will see after the first day.” This calms me enough to stop scratching him. “ I wish I could take you to office, but…” it was nothing more than a whisper, so only me probably heard it, human’s ear wouldn’t pick it. I felt bad now. “Well, good luck, auror Moody “ and he gave me to him directly.

“I had to keep him like that all the time?” shocked and frustrated… yea, even as an animal I have access to legilimency, just not that smooth.

“Whatever suit you, but he will run away probably if you put him down now and you need to make sure he eat properly. I am sure someone so famous as an auror can manage, can’t you?”

This got only a grumble from an auror.

Tom smiles, looked sadly at me again and go out. I am alone with him…

“Kid… and I thought you were tough!” What? Wait, you’re calling me a coward?!

This is enough of a trigger to change back. I never promised myself not to talk to him!

“I am not!”

“Oh, so you can talk? I was threatened to come here as you apparently lost the ability. “

Oh. Terrible feeling took me over. He is in trouble because I have made a mess. Another person… I think I am shaking a little…

He probably saw it as he added after a moment as if to comfort me by teasing. “ And cat? Well, Albus told me you are a cat, but I thought maybe one more dangerous or so. This one is… quite more fluffy than a dangerous beast I expected out of you.”

“Ha! Tell it to Bella, she had to have her eyes repaired by a specialist after **_that fluffy cat_** attacked her.” I said with a pride. Any damage done to that monster is a reason for it.

“You blinded her?” he is now also curious, not just disbelieving. Pff. I swallowed a little.

“I… she was torturing some child and wanted to kill her… I kind of damaged her eye and bit her enough to disarm for a moment enough to get the kid away and then… apparition brought in Tom and I got captured…” yea, laugh, all you want to. Such a Slytherin I am.

He only blinks.

“Kid, you gave up your effort in order to save a life, if you think I will ever mock it or undermine than you’re wrong. Damn, you could be a good auror, if times were different…”

How he saw it? I am that transparent? Or… he could quess from my silence? And this idea… _Yea, it is a good idea._

“You think Tom might let me? Be a auror? I mean… you all are officially in _his power_ now and being a prisoner here or there… anyone know the better choice…”

At least there would be a chance to get away… it has gone unsaid.

“I am in no position to say it to him, but if you want to be one and get into the program, as long as you want to, you’re welcome to join my team. We would do with a talent like you. And you’re a bloody legilimens like Albus, so…”

Right, Headmaster…

“Ehm, can you tell me more?” he rise his brew so I add “ about auror’s job? Your daily routine? What do you normally do??” I know I shouldn’t ask but I am the reason for his death. I need to know… “What kind of auror was Mr Potter?”

He looks at me suspiciously and probably can see the desperation there. I wish to know all I never asked. I can’t ask directly anymore…

“Fine, kid, so Fleamont…”

_And so the stories were told and started living on in yet another person._

**_Tom’s pov_ **

I was not sure what I will find there. Of course he wouldn’t hurt him and Nagini would never let Moody take him out of her sight, but… Well, it is because I have no other choice. Who else will be there now? It can’t be someone related to me closely or too weak as they would easily lost wand to Severus and who knows what would happen later?

What if he thought up a counter for anti-suicide spell? It would be within his abilities, had a lot of time in Hogwart and when he was alone on his run… and Bella was a failure. Severus looked even more unhappy and resilient to talk with me.

Yes, I am waiting until he will be a little more forgiving and these things takes time, but I am not so patient man. As long as he is around, I am satisfied for now, but even if I didn’t lost his heart, his mind is denying me.

I can see it just as clearly as this.

With this he will feel a little more free and maybe happier? The faster he start talking again to me, the better. Even to scream at me.

What I saw made me furious through.

He was talking with Moody, he was listening and he was brilliantly shining as he used to once. And not with me anymore. I barely manage to put it behind the occlumency shield. If he see my anger now, it will make it even worse, not better. And they are to mind him for some time.

Until healer said that his weight is fine again and skipping meals when not forced-feed would cause no relevant damage or pain. Well, he is angry with me, I need to suck it up and get myself together, children are not always so forgiving.

“Good evening, I think it is enough for today, Moody, you can go” I say casually and with no hint of bother. There is something else… For a moment Severus was happy to see me, was even about to ask something, but… as if remembering once again, this light died out and he looked at the floor again. Something painful hit my chest and it was no spell…

“See you another day, kid.” Last glance at me and he leaves under the critic eye of Nagini. I will ask her later when he is asleep.

“I’m back, Severus, feeling better today?” No answer.

What did I expect? One week won’t heal all that was broken, but as long as he is here, I don’t feel this emptiness anymore, so I can live with this.

For now.

Another meal in silence, I can only converse with Nagini… another remind of how much I hurt him. Will he ever forget it? Ever let it go?

“Can I ask a question?”

“Huh?” This is… first time. First time he said anything to me so far. Oh Merlin, I missed his voice. “Sure, anything”

“ What it takes to become an auror?” I blink first before I process it I am sure.

He want to be an auror? Severus want to be one of them? But…

**_Like Fleamont Potter._ **

My fist are clenching unconsciously under the table and the old anger resurfacing once more. Even after his death, he’s still doing only more and more damage. I should have just chained him in dungeon and left, then Severus…

Then he wouldn’t have been angry at me for so long after fixing the man. Damn my poor judgment at the time.

But I can use it. He wants to be an auror, but there are more steps. Getting him wholly back would become possible faster with just that as he needs me for that.

“Let me think, normally you need to apply, got accepted and start as a trainee, your marks have to be good, you have to have NEWts in Potion, Defense of the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Herbology and Charms, I believe. You have them, so the marks alone are not a problem, the minimum is Exceed Expectation, but you have no lower grade. Then about training itself, it last for three years, for example, Frank Longbottom was recently accepted as a full auror and his wife is still a trainee, through I heard she is sure to become one. Both are in team under Alastor Moody and you may soon get to know them”

Slowly. He needs to trust you again. You never refused him knowledge after all.

He was silent for a moment longer and determination in his eyes.

“Do you think I can apply? I mean, yea, it is three years, but also I would like to try… when I can finally put a foot outside here. I mean, this collar is infuse with your magic and directly ties to my own, right?” Oh, you clever boy, already make such an analyze to see if you can run away?

“Yes, it is, only I can take it off. I’m sorry for this, but I don’t trust you won’t run away”

“You shouldn’t” this brought my full attention from the meal to him. I never expected him to admit to it.

“Oh, planning to escape?” He didn’t lower his gaze as he would as a child after being found doing mischief like experimenting or reading not allowed book.

_Defiance._

“I want to live my life. If escaping let me decide for myself, then it will be used as a mean to the end”

Really?

“I don’t believe you, Severus, you are angry at the coma? At Evan’s? For this I can naturally apologize to him and not hurt him anymore” not that it would be anything close to honest, he tried to steal you from me, so he deserved some punishment, just maybe not that drastic, but if it smooth you, I can do it.

I am Slytherin after all, end justified the means and is worth it _**as long as I get what I want.**_

“And Mr Potter?” of course all goes back to him...

“I don’t think I can do much for him.” there is a murder in his eyes. It’s really all about that Potter?

 _“Who killed him?”_ At the moment I could tell, answering meant that Severus would make sure to kill this person. Unfortunately, it was one of those I wouldn’t sacrifice for the lesson for him.

“It doesn’t matter. I will think about it, the application.” Better to change topic. I can’t stop thinking he just played me. He got permission and…

Probably narrowed the amount of possible suspect as I didn’t throw her to be eaten by a ‘werewolf’.

His manipulation ability got way better or I have never truly witnessed how good he is at this? Yes, I can see how I let myself be catch in his deception while aware of it. Alternative was complete alienating all effort so far and more of silence treatment on his part. I didn’t want to choose it.

Can others see it as well?

Well, from now on Severus did start talking to me, but at the same time, he started his own game at _punishing_. My, my, he learnt this one from me for sure.

_I am nearly proud._


	7. Revenge is best served cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okey, so I post all I had.  
> Nothing more in advance etc. so I will be blunt, a week of break as I had it full. :'") I will try not to break my own word this time too ^^

_**Me:** _

„Okey, let me determined these new facts. Because Severus Snape has no desire to talk to any of his other henchman, listen to them or eat when they are around, he did threaten your team, Alastor, into babysitting the kid and last week you have entirely wasted on it?

Podmore was trying to worked out what the fuck is going on. As everyone else, among them Albus Dumbledore.

“I myself believed and dreaded that Severus would be punished for escaping after hearing of his capture, but… he wasn’t the way everyone would thought and none of them seems to mind…” Remus said.

“He defied him, Albus, and he is alive, in one piece and didn’t get crucioed for a moment! How much did he know and how much did he sell to him for safety?” added Edgar Bones.

The Prewett’s twins seems in the same mind as him.

“That’s the question we will probably ask our other quest.” Said the headmaster and show with the hand in the direction of Evan Rosier, who was with younger member of Resistance.

“You mean to ask me why? Well, let’s say, headmaster, it is not the first time he defied Dark Lord’s wish” everyone’s eyes got wide and disbelieved “ You should remember yourself his first year. The prank at the beginning of the year? Not going back for Christmas? Going without permission to Potters? Experimenting despite being forbidden? Any of those offense would make normals like me or Lucius tortured for a many minutes or even killed. And I mean back then when I was twelve like Severus. We all thought he is dead, Lord Malfoy and Lord Black were practically panicking waiting for the moment he realized _He_ broke his ‘pet’, this is how most of Death Eaters call Severus. Ah, some either call him toy as well, yes. Going back to the case, my father and everyone believed him dead. Myself I got to know when Lucius sent me signal, before that I was going crazy. In one evening, all of us understand from signs that he at least breath. And then, ask what, professor McGonagal…”

All eyes were now on cat animagi.

“What…?”

“ _You were making a fuss about a collar when most of us dreaded for **his life**_ **.** Instead of crucio, death, torture, he was only grounded, forbidden talking and books and ordered to rest. For all those offense. NO ONE know why or what for, but when the very same night, _He_ said, I quote: ‘Well, I missed him’ and has brought him to the banquet in pajamas and that cute pink collar and his face all embarrassed. And never let him down. Every time anything happened, _His_ possessiveness got so much worse that by the time with him coming back at 6th grade, _He_ would kill or torture for touching him without permission where _He_ can see. He won’t punished him like us. At worst…”

No one answered it for a moment or dared to interrupt.

James Potter swallowed.

“At worst…?”

“ _He_ will obliviate his memories, the one’s _He_ doesn’t want him to have and lock him up. The second worse is comatose state he was in, but… no, for Dark Lord, Severus is like a part of _Himself_ , to the point _He_ forced him to learn parsentongue, Lucius let it slip once.”

If people would be even more shocked, they were now.

Only not headmaster.

“I am aware of his limited ability in it, he once said it was a few words or so…” and Evan Rosier laughed at that.

“Headmaster, don’t be offended, but he is now quite fluent at it, no idea how Dark Lord has forced it into him, but by the end of 7th year, he talked nearly as normal as in latin. Not bad, isn’t it?” more wrinkles appeared on the old face.

“So… he is Tom's possession in his follower's eyes?” a nod answered him.

“Bastard!”

“Black, calm down, we have the access to kid, but anything we tell him will be heard by that damn snake and pass on to Riddle, any ideas?” Moody seemed to be tired of this ‘sharing facts’ as what Riddle think of his ward doesn’t matter to him. Kid is in the trap anyway.

“What about his spell? The one against eavesdropping?” now all eyes were on girl called Mary MacDonald.

“Yes! The one he used in 5th year, so boys couldn’t hear his explanation to solution and copy it after getting us kicked out of library!” the excited Lily Potter exclaimed.

“Precisely, he even told us incantation and even if that man know it, then he is not home to stop it.”

“Yea, but the danger of him telling?” another voice cut in “ it is impressive he make up such a useful spell, but for what? For who? They must know and use it on daily basic…”

“Blimey, this is why!” now all eyes were on Black “ Once dad ask him to stay a moment, probably to cast a spell, it might have been an experimental one back then, before our fifth year!”

“Heh? Took you long enough to realize, Siri” answered Evan mimicking disbelief.

“Oh, shut up, he is telling you most of what he does!”

“He’s my best of best friend among best and vice versa after all!” Sirius didn’t answered back as Moony aka Remus shut him up with covering his mouth.

“We don’t have to tell him anything important, but if we can find a way to remove a collar, we should tell him and get him out.”

The last vote and decision already made up – Albus Dumbledore.

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. He may not be on our side, but letting him stay neutral will give us a lot. During the month that Tom was searching for him, he has left us a lot of space to move. It is the best course of action.”

More nods. It was visible how many his trusted people were out there searching and the murder of the muggle’s decreased greatly as well.

“Frank, you’re going in two days?” Longbottom nodded “Then try to get to know him, nothing sudden, no promise and no words given, from both side. We need to know for sure his altitude toward Tom right now.”

“He kind of kidnapped him? What else is there to think about!” James Potter had a hard time to understand.

“James, I think he doesn’t care for this. The reason he is denouncing Tom is the pain he gave Mr Rosier over here” with this the great wizard show the Rosier’s heir with his hand “ and the death of your dear father, Fleamont” everyone took in their breath “ For Severus, _he was also a hero_ , you see. Maybe it was mostly visible as a child, but… he always cared. I met him once privately before school, along with your father, Severus did give Tom a picture of phoenix, you see”

“Really? Phoenix? Strange to give him a drawing of the magical beast you are bonded to” the crease show up on Potter’s face.

“Oh, he didn’t know about it, just liked the idea.”

Suddenly, Lord Potter held up his head.

“Wait, father also had one in his office, a drawing of phoenix! How?”

Hearing this, old wizard smiled brightly and his eyes were twinkling.

“Oh, because he drew one for Fleamont too, to be fair as he said. It shows how much of his love was also directed at your father, James. They relationship got strained as with your mother disease, he had to cease the visits without proper explanation as not to mix Severus in his own fear, being a natural legilimens has many drawbacks after all and with trauma… Fleamont tried to save him pain and by this also hurt the bond they had and it never recovered completely. Tom now did the same. That’s why there is a _chance for him_ not to help Tom anymore. I believe we should try to take it. He cares, but will never forgot.”

The silence was overwhelming.

“Why no one was asked to take care of him, if we knew he is one, the legilimens?” Vance just had to ask.

“I made mistake regarding him and by the time this information was revealed to us, Tom has already strong bond with him. I tried to find someone else, but… the only person who applied, after Fleamont had to resigned, disappeared mysteriously. As long as that person never met Severus back then and couldn’t be used as a danger to hurt the bond Tom obtained already, he would cut them off the picture mercilessly. After being found in his old town, Tom took him and never gave Ministry or St. Mungo back, even without an official guardianship.”

For a few minutes, the talk was continuing, but… something rubbed Lily in. Her town? Back then when dad asked for… that there was a boy… and then thought he might have dreamed…

This strange feeling from her childhood… for now she decided to let it go.

“Good luck, then. Don’t let Tom have reason to do anything, your safety is priority there, remember, as he won’t hurt the boy.”

Another nod and the meeting started to disperse.

**_Bella’s pov_ **

_He_ said to observe him again as letting the job be done by aurors might be dangerous and even if it is a way to ease him, it can rebelled him even more.

How dare this mongrel even do it? After I accepted that he might be good enough as a servant of our Lord? If only I could make him pay…

I am not sure if _He_ knows about that crucio or not, _He_ never addressed it and now ordered me to get him to the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black and Uncle Orion and stayed to make sure he won’t get away.

Should he even try… I still remember that eye and didn’t get even for it! To thought some mudblood would dare to hurt someone of Blacks’ blood… Unforgivable.

But I can’t fail and not bring him in a whole piece, _He_ would be angry at me, not even that mongrel, but me for failure. And _He_ wants to have this ‘disappointment’ so _He_ will have it. No matter how pathetic it has become with age.

“Move!” one wrong move and you will pay. Getting to the door is not taking long. They are being opened by Uncle Orion himself and he is smiling at us. Even at this thing.

“Welcome Bella, Severus, we were waiting for you. It is nice to see you again, Severus, this time more freely and conscious as well. I hope you will enjoy the visit.”

“Mr Black, Mrs Black, nice to see you again” I narrows my eye, he’s not grateful for being allowed here, what a… “ I know about Regulus, no need to explain. Where am I to wait this over?”

That mongrel…

“Severus, as long as you are within this house, you can be anywhere you were allowed before. You thought differently?”

“I am not sure what rules changed and what not anymore, sir. I do not know anything anymore”

Uncle Orion parted his lips in surprised or shocked expression and I wanted to take expression of arrogance out of mudblood’s face, but… I am to make sure he don’t run away, not teach him manners.

I need to remind myself regularly, it seems.

“I understand, would you like some tea? Kreacher will prepare it.”

“Thank you for your gracious offer, but I will pass on it.” After that he has, without shame, changed into that damned cat. Oh, how I wish to take his fur out of him and hung it as a trophy.

“How rude…” Aunt has started only to be silenced by Uncle. Why?

“It is fine, dear. Let him do what he wants as long as he don’t try to go out. When he want to, he will come.”

Wait, where this furry has hidden himself now? I am to keep my eyes on him by _His_ order. Navigating spell show some furniture. Again?

“Aunt, can I move it? I am to keep him in line and not let him out of my vision. Precise order from the Dark Lord.”

“Of course, dear, try not to destroy anything unnecessary and maybe just force him to come and stay in place? It should not be hard.”

“Walburga…”

“Orion, he is easily swept to mischief, you don’t expect me to let him go around and destroy whatever he wants?!” completely agree with you, dear Aunt. Uncle didn't look persuaded.

“Don’t try to hurt him at all or Tom will kill you, Bella.” And with this Uncle has gone off to get a tea. Probably in thought that mudblood would join soon.

Anyway few spells and binds and I got him. He didn’t change back as he has no wand, _He_ has taken it, so as a human he is useless.

“You can change back and stop being a disgrace or stay a cat. Whatever, you’re not making me fail _Him_. Do it and I will kill you like that useless blood traitor!” Taking him with me by force felt good.

_If she were not so self-confident and ignorant, she would notice this little black cat's black eyes shining dangerously and tribes getting changed inside his mind. In that very moment all has changed. The puzzles from just a few days before were completed. No mistake of a culprit and plan could move on._

_Some people do forget one thing._

_He might be a little like Gryffindor most of the time toward people he is indifferent to, but **he is a Slytherin, the one brought up and taught by Tom Marvolo Riddle himself**. _

_Never underestimate a snake, which desires revenge…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, huh, talking again about something obvious to readers, but it is a preview to important change of action I am sure you all noticed.  
> Hope you still enjoyed this one! Yes, I like Evan created by most of other people, yes, I like him a lot, yes, not too long until they are together as well - in my head anyway.  
> And Sev don't hate either Abraxas or Orion, just don't want to talk too much as they would say everything to Tom who he is still angry with.  
> Have fun, eat ice-cream and keep yourself safe until I am back!


	8. Mass hug can kill 0.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just remember no chapter for a few days is no indication that I am gone or anything, okey? Thanks you.

**_Alice’s pov_ **

****

This month I am supposed to be here.

I thought he would make more trouble, but… actually, he’s quite calm and mostly just read. He really is similar to what Lily has told me about him. A little bookish, sometimes harsh or blunt, normally quite harmful – when I asked he started to explain me why we should crush the Sopophorous bean with flat side of silver dagger while preparing the Draught of Death potion for a few hours.

It was an interesting, if impressive lecture and I am fairly sure no one does it, which means his own solution to improve the standard version of the potion.

Of course, we have no new information about the collar thing he has and how to neutralize it. As so, I am reluctant to ask because the snake can understand and pass it on to Riddle or kill me on the spot and we are not to endanger ourselves or worsen his condition.

I wished I could help him. If only… The kid deserve to have a choice and it doesn’t seem he has one now. I have observed for the last week that he is not that angry with Riddle as Moody explained firstly, so I have started to have doubts.

Until I was reassured by Lily that even if he seemingly deflated his anger, it doesn’t mean forgiveness as it comes to him especially hard and without actual regret, even Tom Riddle won’t get it from him.

It made me more at peace at the time, but…

Suddenly, the ward signalized someone entering and his head snapped. There was a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

 ** _“SSsssSssSs sSs sSSSs ssssSsss sSsSss”_** the infamous parsentongue… he’s truly using it… first time I am seeing it, through Frank has told me about witnessing it.

The snake seems to slither away, probably to check it out, but still…

“What did you order it to…” I don’t finish as he wandlessly made me fall and disarmed me with **_Accio!_**

 ** _“_** I will give it back in a moment, I promise!” I am up to take it away when he points it at the collar and mutter a spell.

Unknown one, I didn’t make its worsds, and **_finite incantantum_** as well.

“Come, we have 15 minutes before Tom feel it and come to check, the wards ease the signal! I modified them to do so!!!” I am not sure if following a year younger, possible dangerous and for sure insane kid is a good idea, but do I have a choice? He has my wand.

“If we die, it is on you, Snape!!”

“Of course, you can curse me in hell!” he smiles maniacally and add “ It is Bella, I am going to try to take her down, if in 5 minutes I can’t, then drag me out. In the ventilation shaft is another wand I stole from some random idiot, get it fast!” he intend to take on that crazy bitch alone? Have courage, that one.

And we can’t back off now, can we?

When I am heading toward the placement of the wand, I can hear the fights sound. Damn the kid, if I could hold her off… but she can’t kill him, so he has higher chance.

Can’t she?

I can’t think about it, DAMN IT. The wand.. the shaft is here, but I can’t open it… Screw it! And I just kick it with all the force I had.

It worked.

When I am finally back, I am seeing the even, if not slightly more to their advantage, fight with two on one. He’s out for their blood, without doubt.

 ** _“Experliarmus!!”_** I shout, to gave the spell more power and surprised Radolphus Lestrange is sent flying. Next after it is sent **_Stupefy_** to immobile him. His wife has murder in her eyes after it.

But…

 _“I’m sorry, Nagini,_ **_Auditeordo! SsSSSSSSss!!”_** with that, that poisonous, dangerous snake launch herself at the Lestrange nee Black, to be precise her leg “ Tsk, **_SECTUMSEMPRA!!!”_**

Another spell and there is more blood… he intent to kill her!

“KID, we have no time, come one, only 10 minutes are left!” and you said after this time, he will be here.

Clenching his fist, he stole the brooms and gave one to me. I looking at him expectantly while demanding the reason with my expression.

“Tom can easily track apparition from Ministry.” Ah, I forgot, I am to be an auror. Already in the air…

“When I am fired, I blame you too, Snape”

“Sure, you have all the right, especially after waiting for the occasion to help me. Come on, I am here three months too long for my taste.”

“Weren’t you here only like 2 and half month?”

“Still the point stand, you think blood lost and venom is enough to kill her? I wished I could sever her head, but… I would have also hurt Nagini from this distance… and going closer would be a suicide…”

He really was trying to kill that psycho.

Why?

“Any reason you want to kill that much that bitch?” after all they told me about you and what I remember from school, I would never thought you of such a person, so cold-blooded to wish someone so much of pain and death.

Was I mistaken?

“She is the one…”

“What?”

“The one who killed Mr Potter, I wanted to kill her, but… taking you out of there is first priority or Tom would kill you. I wished it was Moody today, but… Damn, with him such an occasion would not happen at all or with your husband. Tom underestimate you and thought not much of you, so he sent Bellatrix too. Obviously wrong judgment as you kicked that bastard ass quite nicely”

I am not sure if I feel heartbroken that I didn’t finish Lestrange myself or want to thank him for this strange, but appreciated complement.

“Thanks” I decided on finally “ but this time don’t run away from headquarters, last time you might have lasted one month, but next time he may actually obliviate you.”

We understood this much from his friend lecture. His eyes widen for a moment and I know he didn’t consider it while running away before.

Too much faint can hurt too, Snape.

It will be a long way to the destination, it seems.

**_Evan’s pov_ **

She promised to tell me how Sev is.

Blasted people, I help them with protecting those useless muggle and mission and fights and they can’t even find a way to help Sev having him so close to them all the time!

It is all so useless, I am so bored without him…

He just had to be a pride-strike hero and run away, endanger himself and let himself be captured, I knew it will be like that, but persuading Severus never works. Just never.

He is that kind of snake to never change his mind without really good reason. ‘ _LONGBOTTOM I HATE YOU, YOU CAN SEE HIM’_ I wish I could say it to her face, but then I am in for the lecture from Evans about manners and some threat of telling Sev.

As if he don’t know me.

Anyway, why there is that turmoil, that auror to be is to come in the evening…

_Sev._

**_SEV._ **

“SEEEEEEEEV” I know I scream normally and inside, but I am happy, he come back!

Before I can hug him, Evans hug him as she was closer, so I hug them both (bleh)

“OJ, WHAT ABOUT ME!?” and so menace of the name of James Potter is joining the hug, of course Siri too and behind them trail Remus, who only stop himself as a werewolf and trauma from the past and that last one didn’t seem eager as well.

Better for me.

And Sev as he can’t breathe under all of us.

“Get out from him! He needs his precious air!” Alice Longbottom actually hit us with a curse to get us out.

Ouch. It hurt.

And I am grinning like an idiot. I got him back.

Finally, only kicking ass made me not go crazy the last three months

“Seeeev, I worked hard to repay them, you know! Where is my thank you for good done job, when you screw up yours?” subtle asking if you achieved whatever you wanted with that bold escape.

Outside of saving us and pride, if there was a reason.

“Potter, James…” he ignored me, so it is about… “ I’m sorry, I didn’t manage to kill her, probably”

All stopped in their tracks.

Don’t ever think of him as a innocent sheep or you’re most likely dead.

“What do you mean?” I can’t get why those Gryffs are so slow about us, Slytherins, and their boss, a Gryff none the less, is not.

Is it genetically passes on defect or so?

“I know who killed Mr Potter, but failed today… we have not enough time to both escape and take her down…”

“Bella!???” Siri practically scream at my ear. Too loud. And of course she was one of the candidates.

“How do you know?” I asked. It is better to be a sure thing as if it is not and you killed her, you will never forgive yourself.

And I don’t want it.

“She practically admitted it as my caretaker once and few other hints matched. It is her, for sure. Tom didn’t throw her for my revenge, so it must have been important person and those he liked that much, he has few. Others are not so bloodthirsty, at least those I know of, I was out of the meeting for the last 1,5 year so…”

“You attended before?” wolf boy…

“Eeh, from fifth year, Tom hated not having me close, so… Can we not talk about it, I was usually sick after these and if not, it was thanks to occlumency later on. I refused to discuss it on any level, you have better throw me into the Azkaban than took it out of me.”

Well, You may be angry, but _He_ is still _your Tom_ , isn’t he? Betraying _Him_ too far is beyond your nature.

“Fine, we’re not asking, come on, let’s get you clean up and Mary, Lily and Marlene will attend to Alice, hmm?” before he can protest or anything, James Potter doesn’t let him “ Also, you had to drink in my and Lily’s health! Evan did already!! “ Don’t make me remember, I was never that drunk before, I want to vomit from the memory itself.

“Siri, get your boyfriend to cool himself as Sev hate any alcohol from his childhood and out of little trauma left because of his father. Go remind him once again, as before any party in Hogwart or I will hit him again in his empty head as in six year, okay?”

Siri only gulped and took Potter to the side.

Some nodding and explaining – I paid it no mind.

“Sooo welcome back, Sev. You missed me?” I smile with the best smile I had in the last 2 years.

“I missed you as much as one can missed a sarcastic remarks and potion ingredients. Solve it yourself” despite the sadness in his eyes – probably as he hurt Him with this escape – he is grinning at me. He also added “ I missed you all, idiot, only you a little more than the rest.” Then in a grimmer tone, a whisper so neither of those four can hear “ You think she could survive the fast help with antidote around and Tom knowing the counter curse or Tom got angry and left her to bled to death?” there is both dark hope and grim, mostly hold back blood lust.

I wish I could say otherwise.

“If it is Bella, he will first order her to be healed, then torture for failing and then get the information how it all happened. Did you… the tracking spells?”

He nodded.

“All of them, it took me nearly two month, but I managed to find counter for collar one’s and destroyed the rest as an after-effect, only finite, a basic spell, was needed.”

I feel I can breathe again. Our fucking little genius. Thanks Merlin _He_ did not put him in coma or they would be no hope to get him out anytime soon.

“Well, now, what are you going to do, Sev?”

He looks thoughtful before answering.

“I am going to help them and one day I will become an auror.” This determination. Ah, the memento for Lord Potter, isn’t it?

It suit me, so I won’t complain.

“So I am going with you then, let’s beat some psychos ass!!”

He laughs at me! What a ‘treachery’ at my courage and determination.

“Of course, we’re ones ourselves, after all. Who would do a better job?”

We’re grinning at each others, then Marauders joins, we get him cleaned – of course we had to enter the bathroom with him and got kicked out by him with wandless magic naked – barely made to the room for clothes.

Then we ate and there was a talk with Dumbledore and Moody and Frank and it is official now.

We’re in this idiotic resistance until that bastard called Dark Lord ( never tell _Him_ I called _Him_ so) would see his wrongdoing, apologize to Sev and stopped monopolizing him!

Yes, it is my problem with the situation, we all had our own reason for fighting, aren’t we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you enjoyed.  
> It was sure to happen, I know you all know it ^^ Did you like Alice perspective? She didn't seem too flat? Any opinion needed! Thanks for reading ^^


	9. Prophecy is a cheat trick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am bad at keeping my word and wrote up to 12 chapter... damn, I had an idea and couldn't not to! You know what I mean, right? I will just not sleep, that is! Anyway, hope you like it ^^

**_Me:_ **

There in the armchair was sitting _the_ _Dark Lord Voldemort_.

Before him was a bed with a person, young woman with beautiful features, dark hair and many bandages around her body.

The man seemed to contemplate in silence the facts laid before him.

For one, Severus Snape, his charge, is gone once again.

For second, he nearly killed Bella before the narrow escape, _so he must know._

For third, he has dismantled all localization spells he himself had put on the boy, which… he didn’t expect. The rest should not budge as long as a collar was active and it was a magic way more complicated to just do a counter curse as it was tying the magic of the boy directly to his own and the thought of him solving it without immediately alerting him…a shiver passed through the man, when he found the necessary knowledge? When the Dark Lord was gone? Had it with himself from Hogwart? Or disguised the book as something else while those useless aurors were observing him? And when it would be hard to find a way in an unlimited amount of time with him not knowing the wording, Severus manage to do it and risked his life in the process yet again.

For forth, that auror -to -be helped him, so they must be at Dumbledore’s place, wherever that useless hideout is.

For fifth, Bella is in trouble. Normally, for letting him get to know… the man would already tortured her, but her bad state resulted from blood loss before he come and Nagini’s venom – he can’t fathom how Severus would order her disobey him like this – she is not stable. But he need more information as Nagini is sulking that Severus is gone and is not forthcoming about saying anything with her own role in this escape so clear.

“Tom, healer said she will be unconscious for a next two or three days, come better and had some tea. We have gathering today, you remember? Moreover, Radolphus is awake…”

The man’s eyes shone dangerously, he ignored Lord Malfoy and stand up to go over to another witness or suspect or culprit, whatever they were in his mind at the moment.

No, never victim.

“Thank you, Abraxas, I will be there shortly then” it didn’t seem as the man believed in the events happening at all as of yet. Part of his mind wanted to believe that it is another one of those nightmares that Severu left.

Unfortunately, some nightmares becomes reality and this he had himself made happened in the past…

“Rosier” upon leaving the room, another person has greeted him “ Did you find anything about your errant heir going around and kicking our own people?” The man called Rosier flinched at this tone.

“Nothing more than the reports stated, my Lord, any time he was spotted, it was with a member of the Order and he never gave any leeway to anyone. As it is in his nature, Tom.”

Dark Lords’ eyes narrowed dangerously upon such a lack of information.

“Then try better, he is your son and you are to make sure he is back here. I will do the same with my own troublesome child, even if it were to be more brutal than I wished. I advise you to follow the same and don’t fail for too long” with this, Rosier Sr bowed a little and nearly fly out of the room.

No one want to argue, comment and do anything with him for now as long as he is **_that angry_**. No one who is not suicidal.

A little more forward, then left and right and the man labeled by his followers as a Dark Lord and by community as a best Minister of Magic in centuries is inside the room of another witness / culprit.

Along with his younger brother, it seems.

“My Lord” a deep bow symbolizing a great respect was given to the best of their ability from both bedridden brother and the one who accompanied him.

“Rabastan, Radolphus, I wish to knew about the events. I am aware you are still harmed, but as it is concussion and most of it was healed with potion already, it should be no problem, should it?” the ordering tone could not be mistaken for anything else. It was no question.

“Of course not, my Lord. Can I ask of what condition is my wife in?”

Tom Riddle titled his head.

“She will recover, though the wounds are severe. She was lucky I came home that fast, but it is a surprise.”

Both of brothers seemed puzzled by this remark.

“I mean how he know she is the one who killed that idiot, Potter” Riddle chose to clarify. After all, he has gone to a far deal to make it hard to obtain this information from any available source.

“I… my Lord, after you have declared we are not to talk or think about it even, Bella was in a little distress as she once might have said something which would sound as… admitting guilt…” The murder in Dark Lord eyes was unmistakable.

“So you are saying… that while I modified so many people’s memory to cut her out of the picture, everyone without good occlumency has gone through this procedure, when I tried to keep the graphic as close as normal, so he will not guess from its little change, when I have gone so far as to destroy all possible, even in the slightest hints that it was Bella, that she has already compromised herself and did not find it fitting to come and told me?” the venom and anger was evident and completely let loose. Fear has filled the hearts of those two young men.

“My Lord… she didn’t want to disappoint you and she neither thought that such a lousy remark would make him realize any of it. She was not intended to insult and anger you in any way” despite saying it, the sweat cold on his spine was saying how scared he was in that moment.

“And so after recovery she will pay for it. If I know, neither of you would ever come close to him or the house as it is a open invitation for defiance! He would wait for a chance before an escape, I am sure. Or at the very least any hints where to found her. Damn it, he would have put it off by many weeks and by that point, I might have realize his modifications… Oh, and it seems you have also done a pathetic job as you knew, but chose to stay silent. Punishment won’t avoid any of you!!” threat, anger and sole determination to destroy.

They stayed silent.

“My Lord, about the boy…”

“What about Severus!?” Dark Lord didn’t even let Lestrange finish the sentence.

“He… was he always that strong?” for a moment Voldemort looked puzzled “ With another witch’s wand he was able to handle me and Bella at the same time, even if he was slightly losing, he manage to hold until that woman found a wand…”

“Pardon? Wand don’t just lie around to be picked!”

“… my Lord, there was a notice of some newbie having his wand stolen…” Rabastan has come to defense of his older brother. If he has to paid, he can share part of it to ease him.

The Dark Lord was visible silent as if analyzing what the fuck his minion don’t understand about making report about such a unusual cases, not how many muggles were roasted yesterday and by who and in what way.

For a moment he was thinking if not all of them are just that, idiots. He has made himself feel better with remembering about Orion and Abraxas and Dolohov and Lucius. They never failed in important case and were always prepared accordingly. There is still hope for them or so he decided to persuaded himself.

“… Next time” he started “ when you know I have taken away his wand and he is as cunning as he is, be sure to inform me when some random idiot lose his most precious property. At least Mulciber and Avery lost it in the fight, not just get it lost! And to answer your question” once again titling his head and smiling proudly “I would not order you two, one of my best fighters, to observe him if he could not beat even wandlessly and with legilimency and cunning most of others? Both of you have good enough occlumency shield and can withstand a attack without a wand. With… he probably read one of you, with weaker and easier penetrated shield, which means you, and observed another. Fitting strategy for him. If he had his own wand, you would have harder time then. A little motivation to train and tried harder, isn’t it?”

The last sentence was added with cruelty and a little mocking in his voice. The praise did sooth him and at the same time remind that his Severus is gone, with Dumbledore of all people. Oh, it was hard not to kill them on the spot for the failure, but not having enough as good and merciless fighters as them is a thorn in his side.

“I understand, my Lord”

“Good, take your time, you and Bella, and recover. Later, you will be punished for failure and negligence accordingly. Have a good day, then. Radolphus, Rabastan.”

“Thank you for your mercy, my Lord.”

“Thank you, my Lord”

****

**_Tom’s pov_ **

****

The last nod and I am out of the room. Soon, that spineless spy of mine, the one I should probably reward for all the work he does when everyone else just fail around, but will do so another time. Now, I am more in a mood to kill.

All the case I had to take care in Ministry before it, a smile was sent to me by Alastor Moody – if only it would not put Severus even more off, I would torture the bastard to death – and lack of Alice Longbottom thanks to the, ah so comfortable, a cold.

They are testing the waters.

Should I kill them or not? The answer is simple, I can’t. They are the most reliable source of other information. Even if I can’t navigate him, I can see if he is fine from their minds. When I get hold of them privately. Petegrew can’t go around and try to get more information about Severus as any odd behavior would make Severus realize who he is.

Evan Rosier is a person, who as any proper pureblood, see only who he wants.

Order trust him as James Potter trust him – the real reason I forbade Bella to kill the brat along with his progenies.

But Severus has no such qualms, so I can’t risk the cover for information, other than the one all of the order get and not all I use. I emphasized it the last time he was there. The same rules now.

You’re lucky, Moody and my blood lust should actually show you this. You can bring her back, she can be an auror.

She didn’t get him out after all, just got tagged along, it was all Severus’ job.

Excellent job as always, even if against my wishes. I will get him back anyway, I always get what I want.

_Always._

This time, I won’t be foolish enough to think he will let it go, next time… Next time I will erase it, the Potters, Order’s member, even Evan Rosier. All that made him leave me. So… with nothing like this, nothing between us, he won’t have a reason to leave.

Simple like that.

As long as he doesn’t know, he won’t get angry for it too. Perfect solution and the only one left.

From scheming I was taken back into the reality by the entering of that useless rat.

“My Lord…” of course he is scared. He thinks he is a messenger and I often tortured the messenger of the bad enough news.

“ I am aware where he has gone off to! Stop sniveling and start talking, you useless rat! I have more people to blame and you are definitely not one of them!” stop giving me even more headache.

“Yes, my Lord!” maybe I should _crucio_ him as he got way too lively after hearing it. Well, but I was supposed to reward it…

“You can make a request for something reasonable later, write it and give me or so, you already had a mark, so chose something I would actually give you. Now speak!”

And don’t waste any more of my time.

“My Lord, they have found common ground, your ward and Rosier Evan with Dumbledore…” as if remembering what his information meant, with every word his voice stutter more and my eyes go more murderous.

“What kind of agreement? That he will stay there? Make potion? Make him a teacher for brats as Slughorn thinks of retiring?” he has said so much last time I saw him, but what I said now was more of mocking sentence than anything. Dumbledore wouldn’t make a 19 years old child a teacher, I was refused after all.

“My lord…” and at that moment another idiot, whose name I do not know, the one assigned to observe a Hogsmade, come in without invitation.

“How dare you… **_Crucio!!!”_**

And so he is withering on the floor as a worm he is.

After a few seconds, I let it go. Whatever he has come with must be important. The pathetic excuse for a wizard, with only the quality of its blood and Slytherin record, set himself kneeling before me. Better had a good excuse.

“My Lo-ord, ther-re was a prop-phecy…” Pardon? In the day Severus run away, there was a fucking prophecy? Are you kidding me?

“They are useless, just a lump which can almost never be fulfilled.” After a moment of thinking… but who knows? Grinderwald was a seer apparently and nearly won. No prophecy told him that Dumbledore would beat him through. But still, maybe it is better not to underestimate it? “Speak.”

“ ** _"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...”_** is all I heard before I was noticed, but I thought it is better to inform you, my Lord.”

The one about my downfall? That brat of mine will be my defeat sooner than this prophesied person. Who believes this false mediocrity… but maybe, just maybe, it is better to remember it and…

“Good job, you will go back to your responsibilities, I will over think it all” but first “ **_Obliviate!_** **_Supefy._** ” The second one was sent almost lazily. “ Hide for a moment, we don’t want him to know about my spy, do we? I didn’t even tell Abraxas, only Orion with his abilities in mind arts on acceptable level and instructed to gave hints to Malfoy and nothing else, mere idiot doesn’t have a right to know.” This was directed at Petegrew and he got it fast.

His best quality is his ability to follow orders. He actually does it way better than Bella, but is a weak wizard, so he will never get too high here, but higher than anything Order can give him.

Enough for him to work for me, it seems. After the leave of that member of spying network, Greengrass I think, I order him to change back and continue. Prophecy is of less importance at the moment, I can resolve it later.

“My Lord, Severus Snape agreed to help the Order as long as he will be given the exclusive honor of… killing your servant, Bellatrix Lestrange as he believes that she survives the first try. He is under Dumbledore’s badge now…”

Oh, I need to restrain myself for now. If I kill my own spy…

“Continue.” I order sternly. Both to him and myself.

“Nothing more about Snape, now the Order is…” I am listening, remembering, knowing, but my thoughts are far away.

I should have sent him to Durmstrang…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all comment and good words!  
> Love you all too :**


	10. Unheard confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okey, guys, I have finished first part of this part. I will add now up to 13 chapters. Have fun reading!!   
> Next one is a long gap in time.  
> Be prepared for tears ;-;

**_Sev’s pov_ **

Being in a team with both, Potter and Black, while Evan is with Lily, Alice and Frank was nowhere near satisfying.

To be honest, the way Order work is not efficient. They knew little about when the attacks were to happen or where and tried their best to minimalism the victims by acting fast as a response. If they are to save life, it is the only way, but…

Attacks are consisted of lesser people, but more at the same time.

They are trying to share the members between many location and… probably captured me. So Tom has still not given up on it. And the thing Alice said… about obliviation. He will do it now. Every part of my brain scream at me that Tom will do it.

My guts are telling me so.

So now, I can’t get captured, under no circumstances I will not let him take away those memories and made me live in falsely. Oh, the moment I kill Bella, I can say I forgave him, but I will still stop this muggle’s hunt none the less, stopped Tom from murdering more of them and become an auror like Mr Potter was once.

Like those two idiots want to be one day, when it is all over.

Now, how to keep them alive long enough to do just that? Another alarm is up.

And the team I am in, James’ Potter team, is three people’s team as there are 6 place of attacks and Tom let us know about them. A challenge. Come and try. Give me an opportunity. He can’t get me under Fidelis, but on the battlefield? As long as it is not a killing curse, it is of no consequences.

That is why now we’re trying to beat those idiots and don’t let them recognize me. I am under a polyjuice as a Potter as well. One of us, for them a clear signal and Lily… At least she won’t lose unnecessary her husband.

I of course has given them their congratulation, I have no idea how I missed it the last two times too. I was too concerned with Tom and Mr Potter and Evan… but now I am more free and have done it properly.

“Come on, Padfoot, Severus, let’s kick these idiots!” It is not so easy idiot.

I don’t try to say it as you need this needless enthusiasm.

2 to one in consideration Order can sent 4 regularly. This is how many people can Tom sent as he is still gathering information and have to be careful public won’t notice those nice, organized attacks. Prophet and Ministry full corruption on!

But with our team having 3 members it is like 8 to 3. Skills doesn’t match through, but…

 ** _“Sectumsempra!”_** maybe a little off, but one of them cast **_my spell_** on Sirius. DAMN.

Before he can finish him off, I jump before him and cast silent **_Experliarmus_** and then **_Protégé_** while examining the damage. No one will cast Killing curse with the possibility of it being me. And… so that idiot flinch, aware of his most deadly curse being off limit and then I have to somehow hold on 3 out of 5 left. Others were already neutralized. But…

“Potter, switch for a moment!” and deal with 5 at the same time for a moment as well.

“Huh?” then he realize Sirius is hurt, nice timing and follow my instruction. Every now, while retreating to our doggie, I am sending stray, but calculated spell to keep them on shoes. I might scream Potter, but they can’t know for sure if it is a bluff. My luck, I would say.

 ** _“Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentur…”_** I do chant continuously, while keeping on **_Protégé_** and moving my wand along the wound of his.

“IT IS HIM, WE CAN KILL THE OTHERS!” Shit, of course, the counter told them it all.

Without a moment, we both, I and Black, he shout, I thought, the famous **_Experliarmus_** and James being James and having some good feelings wherever Siri is involved, has avoided it and added his own. After getting two out of 3 on the target, I cast another, dark spell.

 ** _“Lupum in spicis”_** and the spikes got out from the ground and pierced their foots and stopped them from moving, making them incapable of dodging next one, then… **_“Nervo aeternam”_** and the familiar shadow get them into its clutches and made unable to use a wands.

Dark magic is useful, but I am feeling dizzy. First spell is using the blood of the caster as a catalyst, so…

“Potter!”

He understood without a words and **_Stupefy_** them. Finally. After that he casted…

 ** _“Expecto Patronus!”_** and the proud, silver deer has gone off to Moody.

“We need to be out fast, Black need potion and… damn, mine must have got lost in the fight. Have you _blood replenisher_ on you?” He nodded and pass it to me. After getting it, Siri get back a little of his color. Thank Merlin or my own spell would kill him… in this situation, I need to teach them a counter.

I make a mental note about it. When Moody arrived finally, probably most of other attackers run away after the confirmation I am not there and stalk only this much.

I am seriously getting tired with this ‘those attacking double anyone (Potter) stays to the end…’ damn, two got out after the spell worn out earlier? Fuck, and escaped. Too much attention of Siri cost us. Shame we have not enough polijuice to make all look like Potter and few more like 3 would make them attack all… dream.

James is trying to explain the events all the way to the headquarters.

“You are all fine!” Mary, huh? She and McKinnon and some other not the best fighters are in charge of evacuation. A hard job, going around and rounding people with spell going around. It is hard to remember her as a scared girl after Mulciber’s stunt anymore.

“Of course, I live to irritate along with Evan Rosier, and annoyed of course, the whole world with our mere thoughts. Don’t ever underestimate how much more trouble I am to bring you all” I smile honestly. Lily tried to tell me subtly – which means openly, but for her not screaming around others is subtly – that Mary joined because of me and because I saved her back in fifth year. I am happy I did.

Those guys…

I never mentioned their punishment through. They may hate them, but hearing about that event would make them pity them a little and they deserved it.

As me by now in Tom’s eyes, but he didn’t.

As Tom in my eyes, but all this hatred was redirected at Bella.

We are pathetic, little family, aren’t we?

Still…

“Good job out there, how is Black? What was this spell?”

Now the hard truth. I hope they won’t try to isolate me here as mentally ill and dangerous person.

“It is my own” all eyes on me, yeah, predicted. “That’s why I know counter, I made it for Tom for birthday, used it once against werewolf-Lupin and against Bella, but Tom know counter of course. I will taught it to you. I never thought…” it is another hard truth for me “ I never thought he would share something I did for him with his followers just like that.”

No one berated me. Either Evan or maybe even Headmaster has explained a lot to them about me, about me and Tom and our relation… Probably. Or maybe the hurt in my eyes and voice, despite these fucking shield, is enough to shut their complains? Possible as way. 

“Come on, I am starving!” You can always count on Siri say something idiotic in serious situation after nearly dying to make everyone laugh. Maybe it is why in the end I failed to completely leave them? Maybe because of James’ insistence and loyalty, maybe because of Lily’s warm smile, maybe because of Remus oh so always guilty and kind, which I had to say at least thousands is not his, but Potters and Black as they are morons. Maybe it is because of Mary and that incident and getting to know her truly?

No, I didn’t chose them over Tom, I never did. I just never throw them away as I intended.

Now… I am missing him, missing Tom and _I am feeling empty._ I can’t feel happiness here. I can fake it and not even Evan can see it. My occlumency’s power last developed into virtues.

But it is enough for me, I had enough happiness with Tom so far, there are things more important than me and I am avenging one of those people.

And I won’t fail.

Both me and Tom had to be punished for our selfishness _and we shall be._

**_Mary’s pov_ **

I didn’t want to take part in this resistance, I never wanted to sign up for this, but then… He disappeared. I know it is funny, me a muggle-born when his guardian don’t like people like me and he listen to him so much.

But…

How can one change its heart? First, he saved me and made me both admire him and dislike for protecting those two.

Then I saw him in pain, so many times, going forward, not giving up, not succumbing to it. It was endeavoring, to see someone so determined.

And then there was this plan of guys’ to save him. I was scared, of the repercussion from his guardian, so powerful politic… and yet…

I thought if he could be saved as they said, then we can be friends, I can get to know him truly. _After all he saved those to help that man._ **_He saved me and let them be punished to protect me on his own._**

At the first meeting it was awkward, but… after he apologize without specifically mentioning why, I think I started to really like him. All the time he called me dunderhead, all these lesson in potion and defense, all the library hours…

Every time I liked him more.

Then guys joined and I felt a little disappointed, but quickly, it left. We had a lot of fun together and…

And some illness happened, which after joining Order, both me and Lily get to know the truth… I… Back then I was scared he will die.

Now I was thankful he survived.

It also made the point of Marauders pranking teaching staff and getting kicked out of Quidditch with a month of detention and 100 points each more reasonable. We all thought Headmaster was too strict, but… he was as strict as he could to hide Remus.

Both of us berated them for many weeks daily and I was personally angry at all this, but… remembering that Severus forgave them, when he came back, he talked, he played, he spent his time with us and… we all become friend, with Evan and Regulus as well. Just not too openly not to alert too much his guardian, but we were. It helped in forgiving them.

The rest of the school year was amazing and I think… I might have liked him a little more than I should.

And then he disappeared a few days before I have finally put it into words. I was despaired and start to search until Lily told me more about Order and to have a chance to find him… I joined. Hell, it was worth it.

This is dangerous time, he is hunted, he was kidnapped, he and we all are in danger, but so what? I can be around, I can help him as he helped me and it is all that count.

I think I am happy with this.


	11. Close death call!

**_Tom’s pov_ **

If my calculation are right, then this is here, the place that old fool will chose to sent James Potter’s team, the one Severus is in according to all reports. The moment they are here, anti-apparating barrier will be on. So…

Let me get my own back. You had him way too long for my taste.

“Start” I order and **_Disillusioned_** myself. Time to start the trap.

They do the killing slowly, but steadily, we need to drew them inside, like a cat inside a box. My black, little cat.

There are four of them, no Black this time, it happens sometimes when they need more fire-power in other team, I realized some time ago and then one of the Longbottoms takes the place, two Potter – obviously, as if they didn’t have enough of changing my Severus into him. Well, it make the case simpler too.

I am quite excited at the prospect of tearing them all apart, but… if all Potter family is dead suddenly, then public will start to panic as he was liked in school, his mudblood wife too, and Longbottoms are from Ministry so I would have to make a show case of her death for her husband.

Pity I have to let them live, but…

Well, the reward will be worth it.

I think the girl has felt something. That mudblood one. But it is of no consequences as… barrier is up. No one can run away now.

Now all of them, despite beating two of my people, are here.

They are trying to round of them, my people, but the difference in skill of basic follower of mine and them is visible. Well, otherwise Order would be destroyed a long time ago thanks to our numbers and muggle-lover along with it.

A quick spell and the view is changed. I am visible too.

“Welcome, thank you for taking up my invitation, so… which one is Severus?” I do smile, I have won, again, old fool and this time I will make sure you can’t take him away, never again!

“Expe-“ he didn’t finish as I got him with silent spell and one of James Potters hit against the wall, he is hurt for sur.

Not my Severus, he would use silent spells. So the other one?

They do fight, try their little tricks and I counter it all. Something is wrong.

I can feel all of their minds.

I can enter all three of those still standing and the one who tries to get up can’t be Severus with this choice of action, it was nothing like what he would do in this situation.

It can’t be, it was all calculated. From their memories I am sure one was Severus, his move and his spells and his cunningness! It must be this team, then how?

When?

What I was wrong about?

I barely stopped myself in time from killing them in all this inside monologue. They are good, I would say they are similar to Bella in level, little lower, but good none the less.

They withstand long, but…

They are no Severus.

“Hold them all in the air and bring me antidote to polijuice!!” all of them will get it.

He may act to make me think so.

Potter number one – negative.

Potter number two – negative. It is Longbottom…

Mudblood nr only – negative.

Traitor – negative as well… HOW?!

“Where is Severus?” I do ask with as much contempt and disappointment and rage as not in a while. This is not how it was supposed to be.

“I have no idea wha…” I interrupted real James Potter and just forced him to look into my eyes.

Silent **_legilimens_** as well.

*memory*

I’m searching between many, few were of their talks in Hogwart, their trying to pull him away from me and failing until they succeed few months ago… many talks with his friends, moments with mudbloods wife, with that cursed Fleamont Potter and…

And today afternoon. _I found it._

“Severus, don’t come, Frank agreed to fill for you.”

“Pardon? But won’t he…?”

“Only you can for 100% brew a wolfsbane for Remus and there is a full moon soon, so… I know we ask a lot, but if it can make it better for him, I will do anything in exchange.”

My Severus only signed…

“Fine, but if you lose an ear or eye because you are incompetent, it is your fault. I have Veritaserum to brew as well, it is to be finished in few days, so some more time may be needed. Thanks.” After a moment he looked straight and I had a feeling he’s looking at me. “Stay safe” I didn’t pay attention to the response, he asked them to stay safe from me… They corrupted him, took him and damaged! I need to… get him back. No matter what.

And made them pay.

**_*end of legilimency*_ **

“So…” I start “ A fluke? Don’t be too happy because of the luck being on your side, you all will regret going against me and annoying me like that, first you, Potter, I suppose.” And with that I let go of his face and cast unforgiveable. **_“Crucio.”_** with only cold satisfaction of his pain.

Sweet, sweet pain of the enemy.

It does not last as Albus Dumbledore came. Damn him, confrontation won’t be taken out from prophet and I can’t have it now.

Not yet.

“We are leaving.” And so the barrier is down and we are gone in a flash.

Another failure, it seems, but I am much closer now to the success.

**_Sev’s pov_ **

****

****

I can’t believe it. How stupid of a Gryffindor we were?! I asked Headmaster not to choose in any logical way if he can’t trust Evan or me to be in different teams than people we cares a little.

Improvement: Only I cares a little, but he don’t have to be told it.

Tom nearly killed them all… I do not do apparition not to be located, I am not given where we are, I could not work out a logic.

Tom could.

James was tortured, Mr Pomfrey said they are mostly fine now, but… he need to take it easy for now. The sole thought it was this close… I am shivering, I can’t fight with Tom. Go against him?? Now, I am doing it. Attacking him? I can’t do it. If we were to fight, I would choose to run.

Not fight the wizard on the level of Dumbledore, if they didn’t realize something is wrong… they would be all dead, without a doubt.

Tom is merciful, when something he wanted would be obtained. I was not there and in exchange for failure, he would…

No, don’t think about it, they are alive.

“SIRIUS, how are they!?” I practically scream finally spotting him. I shouldn’t have come to Hogwart, but…

“What are you doing here, I want to know! You are wanted by that bastard!”

“Don’t call Tom that when I am around, the state!?” okey, now we’re screaming at each other. Great.

“I… we have good and good/strange news. Which first?”

Good/ strange? Did he hit his head as well?

“Good” so I can know something before my heart gave out.

“James will be fine, just need to rest” thank Merlin, he didn’t disfigure them or anything.

“The other?” I am taking my tea now relatively calm, what could be worse than death or torture anyway.

“Lily’s is pregnant” and I spilled good tea.

“What to Merlin’s pants!?” and Siri laugh.

“It is the first time ever you used this one, I need to tell James!”

“Don’t laugh, she is in the resistance and one of the targets for elimination! It is serious business, Blackie!!”

“Wow, you are truly angry if you use the nickname. That bad it is?” I can’t believe it.

“Tom is holding back a lot now, but.. he has limit, when he go over it, he will be more brutal and the amount of victim way higher. Don’t ever think you know him, Siri, you know nothing, I don’t know everything, neither headmaster or Mr Malfoy or your father. Tom can be unpredictable when angered. Especially dangerous when angry, not for politics or power, to human’s life! Damn, stay with them. Should I know something else?”

“Eeeh, you know, Alice too.”

I am sure I dead-panned at him. I must have.

.

.

.

Getting to the office was not hard.

Now to get inside…

 _“OPEN THE OFFICE OR I WILL DESTOY ALL MUGGLE SWEETS IN HOGSMADE!!”_ it must work.

And does.

Convenient.

“Welcome, Severus, I thought you were to stay at..”

“Yes, yes, headquarters, we both know why I am here!” I interrupt him. Changes must be made.

Fast.

“So you can start?”

I do take a deep breath.

“Why no one checked? If Tom… If he decided to torture one of them first, the life would be lost. We need to be more careful! You can’t go and fight to protect innocent life while letting another innocent one die, it is wrong!”

“You are right, I won’t let the mistake repeat.”

Okey, he accepted responsibility pretty fast, but… something is up and he does not tell me, us.

“There is something else, isn’t there?”

He looks as if thinking if he should tell me. Maybe you shouldn’t, I still don’t trust you every little as you don’t trust me.

Which says a lot.

“There was a prophecy I thought is useless, but… It was a real one, I believe a self-fulfilling one, but Tom may thought it different.”

What?

“Tom is not so stupid as to believe in such a crap” it is insulting to think so.

“Are you sure? I am not, the prophecy was about his downfall” I am feeling my legs giving out, damn, he is afraid of dying after all… and when afraid, he does the most stupid things. “It was about someone who was a child of the pair who defied Tom three times… and they did it today. Both of Potters and Longbottoms…”

“How? When? They never did it, never beat him! And fought him only once!!” I am denying. It has to be false. It can’t be real…

“I wished it was, but the fact that they continued talking to you is a first defiance of him” I pale a lot after hearing it… “ Then they, all four of them, were on the action where we got your sleeping form out during a charity party he organized” I want to cry, why it is about me!? “ And the third time today…”

“Wait, Alice and Frank didn’t defied him three times!” well, marginal hope.

“They did, she was with you during your escape, wasn’t she? By coincidence, at the same time Frank refused to follow one of his order.”

No, no, no, no… but he continued.

“Now they have both the one condition met and magic told us the most possible date for them both of their children is… 31th July. The day the prophecy was talking about.”

“They need to hide until we are sure? Lily and Alice…”

“Yes, we can’t endanger them now anyway and Tom may not pay attention until the birth come. If the date is really the one predicted, they may be in danger. Time will show.”

I want to cry. Why life always need to turn for worse?

“What about me now? Tom is taking action to find me. The tactic with polijuice won’t work now as… sooner or later, he will guess correctly and without fluke like today and it will be over for me. Any idea how I can be useful and don’t get my memories wiped out?”

“For now, we will hide you among muggles.”

I blink a lot. “Pardon?”

“I would like to ask you to stay with Lily’s parents and sister and her husband for the time being and possible protect them. We have not enough people to do it, in case of emergency, floo to Hogwart.”

I blink faster.

“You are sending me, a target of the Minister, Dark Lord and alone itself I am a Dark Wizard, to the family of my friend, a muggle family, to protect them while my guardian, DARK LORD, is searching for me everywhere?”

It must be a joke.

“Yes, you decline? It is your right, but then they will be without protection” I do hate him sometimes.

Really do.

“What about Evan?” I don’t want to miss him again.

“ He is not a target, we want to confuse Tom by repeatedly not bringing you. He will then try to find another approach.”

“Or killed a lot of people”

“I want to believe he won’t as long as he want to stay clean in public eyes.”

“Not that much then, Tom has a temper too.”

“Then what about a month? In this month we will try to find better security and made sure you won’t get kidnapped any time soon. You can work on this on your own as well.”

He’s so damn right and manipulative, I want to vomit.

I don’t really have a choice, if I don’t want Lily to be sad. And that prophecy things… Why it all got so complicated?

“Let me finish my potions first” _Veritaserum_ or _Wolfsbane_ won’t finish itself. And without looking back I am out.

I don’t see how my profile and behavior has reminded the great Albus Dumbledore of Tom at that moment, until the later date… and he was right.

This time.


	12. Wise human don't have to be wizards

**_Lily’s pov_ **

I was a Little shocked when Albus told us that Severus will protect my family for the next month. It made no sense with them trying to track him down until…

Until I remembered what happened to us last week, if the rest of the Order were a little late, James would die. And our child would be either dead along with me or half-orphaned… It is getting more and more dangerous, we need to get Voldemort off from our back a little and they are under good protection, but… won’t Death Eaters try to find my family?

Headmaster believes they would never imagine that he would put Severus so in the open and sent anyone that strong to protect muggle, so he can easily beat them with his skills – or so Albus believe – and get them all to Hogwart on time.

I am worried, but… also grateful as they are a targets. If they can be protected too, I have what to be grateful for.

Severus said that he will do his best and he always does, we are talking about our little evil genius. Please, let them stay safe… Today he is to be transported with Hagrid as no one ever saw them interacting and no one would suspect.

Or so.

James is fine now and happy that he is going to be a father. I wish I was as carefree sometimes as he is, but then… who would keep us safe?

Someone had to think about security first, then about war and joy of being a parent. He will understand soon, I am sure. He is still shaken from our defeat. A lot. He was… strong, too strong, no wonder Sev told us to never fight him as he himself wouldn’t have a chance.

It was nothing short of true, he is a monster. And so it headmaster, if Voldemort left because of him. I wish I was strong enough to protect my family…

“So.. you have everything?” of course, James had to asked.

“We can sent him anything else he will need, first try to take Evan away from his ankle.”

Yep, he has glued himself literally to Severus to keep him here in one place. I can relate, I would do the same to James. Or my parents if they were the ones.

“No, Severus, you can’t, any time you leave me behind, something bad happens!!” all people present grimaced at that, but it is true.

He got captured back then after all.

“Can’t, Evan. It is good strategically and one of the first moves I can understand why it is done. I will be fine, you take care of yourself. I don’t know what I will do if you were to be hurt, so don’t make me go straight to Tom to save you, idiot.”

He made a theatrical expression as if hurt, but was sulking all the same.

We all will be missing him.

“Keep safe, Severus” I said among others who said similar. Only me and James know about the precise location as it is my family and Dumbledore forbade to tell anyone. I think he thinks we have a mole or something…

I am not sure, they didn’t get any of Order member so far, but… if Albus think so…

Anyway, for the rest, he is to be safe-kept in one of the Dumbledore’s hideout.

Just in case.

We, I and Alice, are going to stay here or move on for a few months to evacuation team and in a 2-3 go into hiding.

Just in case too.

Mary seems nervous too. I wonder, she will miss Severus too. She never gave him the letter in the end, it is still under her pillow.

Silly, but cute.

“You all too, better don’t die on your own or I will resurrect you to kill you again, dunderheads.”

“Ha! It is not that Death would want our head anyway, some of them are full only of ‘Lily and I are going to have a son, it must be a son’ etc stuff. Who would want it anyway?”

“I suppose the kid would be very much obligated to want their head to stay, Siri, yours too as you are to be godfather, better do a job nicely or I am taking it” teased our Sev.

“You can still be godmother, you know?” James winked at him and Severus got all red. He got you.

“I am going, I am leaving, better keep your promise.” He practically shouted while going to the door.

“Severus…?” Severus turned around. hmm? Mary? What are you…

We all stand stunned as she kissed him and run away.

Severus was petrified and only the entering of Hagrid stopped it. He has practically dragged Sev out to the motorbike Sirius lent him.

The silence continued until…

“Wait, does it mean they are finally an item?”

I think so, dear.

I think so.

**_Pete’s pov_ **

It was not one of the things I would like to report.

No one ever had to report something similar, what if he killed me for this information? He can… of course he can, he is hunting him all those months, no one want to know _your thing_ is being kissed by someone else.

I do wonder what it is really with that Snape anyway, he is a ward, yea, but also betrayed! Why He is so obsessed with him if He is so much stronger anyway?

I can’t get it, but I need to run if the information cause Him to want to kill me. I didn’t join as a spy to be killed. I want to be honored, had good life and all I would want, I want to live as a winner and I won’t if he kills me!!

I don’t have luck today…

“My lord” don’t stutter, it is not that bad, why should He cared who Snape kissed or not anyway. It is stupid. And pointless. And no one cares.

“Something interesting or you are wasting my time? You don’t normally report so closely to each others. What it is?”

“It is about Severus Snape…” and like this from acknowledging I am alive and breathing and here, He just changed it to full attention. I hate reporting on him… my fear is the greatest and I got punished the most because of it!

“What do you know? Something changed?”

You can’t lie to Him, remember…

“Dumbledore took him off from assault team and decided to move him to hiding for some time, the shortest he said is one month, but… didn’t negate the possibility of having to make it longer.”

“Why!? Where?” is He angry? Why? I wish to know…

“Some of his safe house, only he knows about. Hagrid was to take him there and then be obliviated of it… and he said it is because of last week events, my Lord”

I do not rise my eyes, only lower it even more. Should I tell him now? He pace a little, anger clear. He is more angry later by a lot.

It has something to do with Snape, doesn’t it?

“Don’t try anything, all you heard, pass me. Nothing is to leave this room. Those idiots will try to find him to please me and destroy your cover. Go back, don’t come again like this, only to planned meeting. You can go.”

“My Lord…”

“What else?!” that purebloods fanatics who didn’t tell him all got punished immensely lately, I won’t make their mistake.

“ The girl, Mary MacDonald kissed him on lips before he left.” He is pale, angry and disbelief on his face…

 ** _“SSSSssSSsSs SSSS”_** I don’t understand the language, but I know enough my instincts to run away.

Before I disappear, I can hear ‘I need to change a plan again and kill that Mudblood as soon as possible’ and get away faster. Serious, angry Dark Lord is a lot of pain.

**_Mr Evans’ pov_ **

This boy who has come here…

He is kind of similar.

I just can’t picture from where…

Maybe not the best friend, but he tolerates with Petunia each other and talk friendly. It is good as that boy can understand more about what is happening and why we are in hiding here than we can. It makes me feel safer when it comes to my family.

Petunia is here with her husband, unfortunately, as they despised each other ( he and Severus and it was only a few days ) and try to ignore. It was hard to change his mind to hide for some time. Only a short performance from Lily’s former teacher and the fact his life is on line stopped him from just leaving.

I don’t like him too much, to be honest, Dursley, but if my Tuney flower does, so mote it be.

I can’t do too much to change my daughter feelings or we wouldn’t be going abroad. We are to in a few months, in fact, but not to gather attention we wait for a better time.

Lily persuaded us to do just that.

I wish we could stay here.

From where I know the boy…

“Severus, yes?” the name ring a bell too.

“Yes, Mr Evans.” He smiles gently, but is clearly worried. He is not the most handsome young man, but surely cared good enough to make a pass… why this face…

Wait, the surname.

“What is your surname, young man?” No, but… Lily mentioned it once, but I thought I am hallucinating again.

“Severus Snape, sir. Did something happened?”

“Of course it did, 13 years ago, when Lily had only 6 years!!” he looks puzzled and a little scared “ She and Petunia found a nearly frozen boy and he was a wizard with that name. His guardian or so, Tom that boy I think said, was supposed to come, but after returning home from job, no one remembered you exist! Only a card…”

“You… I… but I don’t remember anything like that!”

“Lily as well, she was so happy to have someone like her around, she was pretty lonely back then. The only thing left was the words like magic, Hogwart and the cards with contact who explained it all to us. Who Lily is, about wizarding world, Diagon Alley, where we can buy some pre-school book etcetera. I believed I imagined you, boy!”

I can’t believe it was not a seer dream I started to believe it to be. I mean, a boy from that unfortunate house would come here? To our house and be a wizard as well? It was so impossible and yet…

It was true.

The boy, Severus, gaped at me for a good long moment and then said something not too under stable.

“ We were obliviated by Tom, it seems.”

Pardon?

“What is this ‘obliviation’ you are talking about?” it is not something dangerous, right? I feel alright…

“It is like wiping out other person memories. One moment you know me, one not anymore. Or I you all. If the person casting is not a passable wizard, it can be dangerous…”

“Is he..?”

“Pardon?”

“Is that Tom passable wizard?” he blinks a lot at me and laughs.

“Yes, definitely, he is one of the strongest alive and maybe first or second in Britain. He is younger than the official one, but they never fought, so…” now his expression got sad while I can breathe with relieve “ He is the one possible hunting you, Mr Evans…”

“But isn’t he your guardian?” it does not make sense.

“Mr Evans, please, remember for once and for all, it is a miracle he didn’t kill you back then, just take away memory” my blood drained away from my face and I feel cold “He is both powerful and dangerous and hate muggle because of his own experience in orphanage. NEVER repeat it, even to Lily, she is in danger enough from that fraction of pureblood supremacist and no need to add the olive to fire. Tom ordered someone to kill the person, who once saved me from that house, Mr Evans” the one with your… blood family. “ And so I can’t go back to him now and he wants me back, so he is after me. That is why I can protect you here, he won’t kill me immediately, I may even get a bargain. Don’t worry, I will protect you, I promise.”

I was ready to argue.

To say how young he is and how he should care about himself, but the determination in his eyes…

“You think I should tell them?” I asked after a moment of silence…

“Only Lily, no one else, please, don’t put your wife and daughter in the same danger as you and I are already. Lily had to know to tell Dumbledore, he may need this information…”

I had to ask.

“Do you hate him, _that Tom_?”

…

He clenched his fist and looked into my eyes…

“I can’t hate him, Mr Evans, he is my family. No matter what he did, I will stop him, I will make sure the person responsible pays for Mr Potter’s, your daughter father -in -law, death and I will either made him see a reason or die trying to protect both him and wizarding world. Am I crazy?”

My… oh my, James… I wish I could meet your parents…

“No, Severus, you are a part of a family and you are human. Love is amazing and can be blind, but never doubt it. Without it, we are just an empty shells moving.”

I don’t know why, but it made him cry, as if I said something he had thought about a lot and wanted to hear.

I am glad that Lily made such a friend as you, young man, your visit in our house made us more prepared for the future and by helping her in Hogwart you made it easier and more fun for her, she told us about you.

Thank you for helping us that much already.


	13. The end of the first war!

**_Mary’s pov_ **

I am scared…

I am crying…

I should have given him that later, it was idiotic, to be afraid of being dejected. And now… To die like that…

Mom… Dad… I’m sorry, I didn’t think I would brought death to you… I was naïve…

Of course he will start killing Order’s member and their families soon enough. I knew it and I still joined…

I should have just told him…

“Well, well, nice to finally meet you, Mudblood.”

The only time I saw him before was a prophet. I never thought… that a charming smile can contain so much venom and made someone so scared…

It can’t be real.

“Can’t talk? Ah, of course, many can’t when I am angry. Even Severus does not answer me in such a situation and he is usually exception to many of my rules.”

Severus? He talks about him so casually as if he didn’t took one year of his life and then imprison him for three months later… My anger, despite rising, can’t beat the dread I am feeling…

“Still nothing? And to thought you were brave enough to touch him… Gryffindor for sure”

Touch, what does he… a kiss?

NO, how come he know it? No one…

“but how??” he laughs at my question as if I am a silly girl.

I may be, but right now I am more a terrified girl about to die a terrifying death…

“Oh, it is not like you are getting alive from here, so maybe I will tell you?” his voice is full of mischief, but I know whatever he truly planned is worse than any imagination… “The rat, let’s say if it remind you of anything?”

No way, Petegrew?! But he is…

A coward.

A betrayer and the reason for my family and mine doom?

No…

“My, your face is truly interesting in despair and disbelief. Rabastan?” Lestrange? That psycho from Slytherin… “Take care of her properly, nothing is to be left of her lips, you understand?”

If I was shaking before, I am doing it way more now.

I don’t want to die…

“Yes, my Lord”

“After you are over, kill her swiftly and gave a body to Greyback.” No, no, no, not like this… “ Have a good evening, Miss MacDonald.”

The hell has started and I wished I was never born…

**_James’ pov_ **

I am to be father soon. It is the 31 July now. Severus is not back yes, Dumbledore sent him ingredients and list for potion and this way, he does it all, but… the hunting start too.

McKinnon’s were killed.

And MacDonalds’…

And that funny’s guy with strange hair…

Those three of the evacuating team were disposed of along with their family and all arranged to look like an ugly accident or a wizard being a reason for their death – we never found Mary.

And didn’t write to Severus about it.

He would not stay there knowing that people, that Mary was killed. And so I hoped they will be an item.

Worse, Rosier got caught why he saved me, ME?! and now we know nothing of him. I mean, he is alive, public was told so. We can assume he was either obliviated or just locked. Rather not tortured to insanity again, looking back at the reaction of Severus.

I am so worried. Without Ministry support, it is so hard. How to beat someone with so much political and military power?

We are all feeling like the cards are all against us, but not today. We will become a parents and care for him ( I am sure it is him! ) and then go on to fight for a better world for him. We had to.

I was so hopeless during a birth, of course I was with Lily there, with my family, but… I was never that scared before. Not even before Voldemort. And now…

Was it how you felt with me too, dad? Are you watching? We are doing all we can to protect people like you did.

Like you tried so desperately to help Severus.

He’s helping us too. And now we are to protect this little life future.

Our little Harry James Potter, born on 31 July…

I hope you can have a good life, my beloved son.

**_Sev’s pov_ **

I spent all year there, experimenting, creating spells for the fight, brewing potion and being worried.

No real information come as they were worried of it being intercepted or so. Today, Evans family is temporary leaving the country and I am to go back to headquarters.

I was not ready to hear it all.

First, Evan is gone. Done. And no one told me.

Second, Mary is probably killed along with other ‘easy preys’.

Third, both their sons qualify.

Why not call me then? Why be stubborn and not get me back? Were you afraid I would betray you because I lost important people? No wonder they call you old fool! I could… have helped… Evan and Mary… and war kills. This is it, this is what it is about.

Can I ever get them back?

Siri is all over the moon the little Harry. I know, he has the best after his parents, James good look and Lily’s eyes.

And doom over his head if Tom really believes the prophecy. Now I am mostly doing solo mission, getting things done in Slytherin way. It works better, but my heart could never be destroyed more anymore. Or so I thought.

In the end Mr Evans never told Lily to not make her angry while she is pregnant and I… obliviated him. If Tom get a wind he knows anything about him, he will kill the good man and I don’t wish it. Maybe that is why he took away mine and their memory, not to kill them.

So fitting.

I could still not navigate Bella’s hideout and take the revenge at last. Blasted woman and Tom’s connection.

He likes her too much.

After getting a hand of the guy, legimilised him brutally via torture of both mind and body, I got to know a fact.

 _He is taking a serious notice of the prophecy_. Even so far as to put off a search for me. He wants to kill Potters, their child, little child, and destroy opposition in this way.

And forced me to surrender with the death of last people I cares for.

Damn you, Tom.

It won’t make me feel better if you destroy all I care outside you in my life. Why is it so hard to get it? It is nearly 2 years… and Fidelis is to be set up today.

With Sirius, apparently.

“Yo, any last words before they are gone into hiding?” Siri, I love you, but I am depressed. The methods I use now… they are no better than theirs and you know it.

You all does and think me a traitor.

The mole is here after all.

“Don’t trust Petegrew, I don’t like the guy” of course, no one would let me legilimenced the rat as it is a proof of disloyalty and I am suspect, not him so…

“Don’t worry, I am the secret keeper, all will be fine, we will protect Harry!”

I nod and left.

The next notice was about the disappearance of Minister of Magic and the death of Potters, barring their son, from the hands of Sirius Black.

_No._

He was not one…

The way he said… the doubts… he thought me a… Petegrew!!! It must be…

Wait, disappearance?

When I got there, there was no Tom, no child anymore, only bodies and… an ash.

Ash full of Tom’s own magic. And this feeling… Horcrux. His body was destroyed by incorrectly done Horcrux… this was what he told me once about. So… he is between life and… death now? A ghost, but not a ghost… A wrath, but with a potential to come back to life.

And Dumbledore know about Horcrux, know about Tom having them, he may know more than he ever let on…

I can’t let him kill Tom, we were supposed to pay for our crimes, not die.

Once Headmaster made a choice to protect, now it is my turn.

.

.

.

“Maybe you are the greatest wizard outside Tom, headmaster, but I can’t let you kill him completely.”

Here I am, in his office, I manage to gave him my greatest masterpiece I ever created to fix Tom. Only one ever done, the potion will make him incapable of fighting me for some time and his mind completely open.

I was going to make Tom stop his quest for power, but… his survival is more important.

“Severus… you…”

“I am not a traitor, but of course, you will think so. You did for bad reason before. I have nothing left, you see. If Tom is dead, I am truly alone in this world. I told you once, didn’t I? I want to stop him, not killed. I’m sorry, but I am taking it away. Any knowledge about horcrux you possess, all books and… well, we will see each other again one day. I will sent a regards for you from Azkaban.”

And so, the same way once this wizard forced my mind in my weakest, I am paying back the debt entirely.

Taking away any knowledge of Tom’s childhood.

Any knowledge of Horcrux.

Any knowledge of the possible localization.

Any about spells I wished him not to remember…

And leave the notion – Black is innocent, it was Snape as I thought.

This way, you won’t stop the events I am to do.

“I am sorry headmaster, have a good sleep.”

All those memories, I make my own. I found the horcrux and hide them somewhere else. Somewhere no one will ever search for. And destroyed the memory where. All those books I memorize and then put on fire.

I left the note to the Malfoys to take care of Nagini as Tom will be back and you don’t want him to hate you.

I left one to Regulus with all he should have remembered about me.

I left one to Lucius with apologies for no contact and asking not to get mixed.

One with apologies to Mr Malfoy and Mr Black for all trouble as a child and wishing them and their families health.

One to Evanses with condolences and last reminder to Tuney that her sister loved her deeply.

One to Dumbledore that I stole his memories.

And one for Sirius Black with all that is important when he is allowed out.

.

.

.

“Has he really admitted to killing Potters out of love and jealousy of Lily Evans Potter? What a… No wonder Tom Riddle kept him hidden, trying to control. Who knows what he did to his guardian…”

“To pay back in such way to such a good man, what a monster”

“To make such a little one lose his parents and even blamed it on his godfather? I can’t believe it…”

“Monster”

“Demon”

“Like his real father”

“Beast, no human”

“How dare he even breathe?”

“Good he got a life in Azkaban, pity that out of their respect to Mr Riddle, they didn’t kiss him.”

“And all the trouble cause of his animagus form… who would even let this thing live in the first place, he must have been evil the moment he was born…”

Would they ever get bored? I am already being taken there… Not that any of you know me or Tom, for that matter.

Your words means nothing, I could at least save one life and make sure Tom’s name stay clear of this. I am satisfied for now.

He will be back anyway and then I need to find a way to kick his ass for killing Potters and then himself.

Lousy guardian you are, Tom. From mine perspective you have some lousy rules as well.

_I can’t love anyone outside you._

_I can’t have friends._

_I can’t choose the way I live._

_I can’t decide by myself or…_

**_Or you are burning this world and me and yourself. I had my fun, I tried and lost all._ **

Now I will play by your rules. Dementors, huh? I hope my occlumency hold.

Bella is there as well for torturing Longbottoms to insanity after your death, Tom. I may even have a chance to kill her. Actually, I am looking forward to it.

The memories capable of killing you are more safe-guarded than my soul. No one will take them, even with Dementors and Dumbledore combined.

Even with you with them.

So you are safe.

And I will wait.

Black can’t believe he see me and is being let out _as I murdered them_. He don’t know what to think about it all as he knew the truth as I does.

In a whisper, I asked.

“Take care of Harry, get along with Petunia even if you have to eat out your tongue, this time trust Dumbledore and be careful, Tom will come back one day”

“What?”

But I didn’t answer.

In this cursed place, I am going in to pay, you are going out to pay.

Life is about happiness and the price of it, isn’t it?

My cell is on the lowest level and I am so happy at the moment I am a natural occlumens. Going inside my mind and staying there, being invisible to Dementors this way, is hard, but I get used to it and there, I am playing with magic again.

Huh, how many spells I create or potion without actually trying them out, I wonder?

Hope you won’t make me wait all eternity, Tom.

I want to see you again and maybe be killed by your hand.

My last selfish wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okey, Evan is alive, just locked.  
> Tom Riddle will come back, his nice body too with time as I despised his HP one. It is too... strange.  
> Sev will survive dementors.  
> Rest ask in comments!


	14. Psycho from Azkaban

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three last chapter of the story, guys.  
> I felt it is right to end like this. I hope you enjoy and don't cry as much as I did while writing the last one.

**_Sirius’ pov_ **

It was not easy, getting along with Petunia Evans Dursley, or rather with her whale of the husband, but for Harry’s sake, for his parents sake and for Severus’ sake, I will manage.

I was always saying it to myself.

After all, James tried to save him and Lily and died.

Lily died while being the last shield of Harry.

And somehow it was enough to blow up our Minister of Magic. Officially, if people knew what really happened, who knows, maybe they would give him a stupid nickname as Boy who lived or so. As Harry survived the killing curse and only those in Order and among Death Eaters knew.

No one was charged for the crimes never investigated.

No one outside of that bitch and her husband along with his brother were arrested. And Severus…

Dumbledore accept what I told him, but… said Sev has stolen important memories from him and because of this, he have no idea how to stop Voldemort return.

Of course, Sev didn’t… He fought alongside us even when we doubted him, but never, ever tried to hide that he won’t let Tom Riddle either win or be killed. We avoided the topic and never asked again and just assumed… that he would let it go.

We underestimate the loyalty of a guy who has gone to Azkaban to get me out to brought up Harry. Who went against Riddle in the first place cause he killed Fleamont Potter. How on earth we could ever believed it?

First three years I was angry at his choices. Me and Moony both. Then, I was starting to remember him before. The first meeting. First year… next… all time in Hogwart.

And I had to accept it, with heavy heart.

He never stopped loving that psycho.

He never chose to give up on him.

I am ashamed now at my anger at him wanting to protect his own little family, I would do anything to protect James… and now Harry. He did more than anyone to let it happened.

Albus is going there over once a year, to try to persuade to give them back, to make him see the point. Never it works.

Apparently, aurors called him a demon as no Dementor truly affect him. Moody told me once, that his mental state is normal.

It is scary about him and at the same I am thankful. Maybe one day he will be released… I decided to hope so, as I am giving Harry a ride to the station. He is starting his first day, our little James’ and Lily’s son…

I missed them.

All of them.

**_Lucius’ pov_ **

To thought even getting a visit takes so much. I wish he would at least talk to me this time. I will get him transported on the basic on psychical disease, which started in his childhood, out of here today after all.

Father and me has been working on it for ten years, making subtle statement, gossips, lighten their hearts, make them pity him.

He is in no need to stay here. I want Draco to get to know my own friend as well, not only Regulus or… or Evan. Through can Evan be called Evan without Severus? He has little to no life in him after he heard that Severus is for a life in Azkaban and promised to one day, when He comes back, to beg for a chance to kill Dumbledore and all of them for leaving Severus to this, for giving up on him after making him care.

He despised them all for losing him and I too. I didn’t even… not from his seventh year, I had no occasion to see him. Outside from the other side of the cell, but… he never responded. Not once.

But today no more, mind healer and healer and rehabilitation and we will get him back.

“Are you sure, sir?”

“Yes, I am, give him the potion and let us go. I need to sign a few more documents.” And get out of this hellish place.

No resistance. Nothing. Why do they call him a demon if he is already in such a…

“What? Something happened you are annoying me?” plant…

“Severus?” He blinks at me.

“Long time no see, Lucius, seems like this time you actually decided to knock” he smiles a little at this. “ I was told later you were here, but…”

The bastard found a way to safely hide inside his mind. Nothing about him will ever surprised me.

Ever.

“Come on, you crazy bint, you are out of here. To the psycho’s I presume”

“We can afford private healers, auror, let us be gone” Severus’ face was all indifferent again, but not like before.

He was still here.

Damn this idiot.

.

.

.

_At the Malfoy manor…_

“So… you got me out for revenge or something? Mr Malfoy? Lucius? Or better idea? If not, you can return me” it was way too cheerful talking not just for him, but for anyone out of Azkaban… what kind of brain damage he has? He is amused by this all!

“I would try to take you out because of the letter from before itself!”

Severus title his head in a manner similar to him and a shiver pass me.

“I was blunt there, a little advise, where is Nagini? She is fine, right?”

“Why are you sure Tom will be back?”

“Oh, I am sure, never thought why Dumbledore didn’t do anything in my defense?”

“Why should he?”

He smiles terrible and coldly. Is it… Severus?

“Because he never trusted me, but the only way to mud Tom’s name is to clear mine. He would do it, but… There was something more important to do. Simple as that, sir”

“And the subject?” Father is not persuaded easily.

“Where is Nagini? I thought it is question for question as once. You don’t think I will literally tell you anything for granted?”

“I got you out of…”

“Then put me back and be gone. I am not afraid of Dementors. I have absolutely nothing left, Tom destroyed it all. How much he enjoyed killing Mary? Did the rat told him about a kiss and that is why? I should have seen it earlier and then when I was giving my doubts, not of them cared. For Order, I was more obvious traitor as a Slytherin and occlumens. Pity, Tom would live, Potters would live, I would not be in Azkaban for so long… we all only lost, just this side more, after all no Tom means the power has gone back to the Dumbledore’s side mostly, with Crouch as a Minister, hmm?”

“You…”

“I! And what will you do to me, Mr Malfoy? I can cut out my senses from torture, I cares little for my death, I am in no fear of Dementor, what else can you do to me? Ah, did you know that after passing some level of indifference, Dementors start to treat you less like a food and more like companion? After 4 year, even without Occlumency full on, they stopped bothering themselves with me.”

“Then why you stayed inside your mind?” I had to ask, it is too surreal.

“Of course to thought up a potion or spell to bring Tom back safely, why would I not? His soul is fine and alive somewhere, he needs just a body and… make a riddle, Mr Malfoy, and he shall come here. Want a receipt? You can check it out beforehand. Get some truly decent potion master if don’t want me to do it as it is complicated potion. Took me 6 years to find a good ingredients and the way to do it and make up a finishing spell, I tell you…” he finish with a sip of a tea.

“I don’t get you, Severus. You betrayed Tom, left and then instead of taking a chance and live freely, you sold it all. What do you really want?”

“Why all people think I want freedom that much when I asked for revenge?”

“What?”

“The concept of our cooperation was never only to stop Tom, I worked with Order to **_KILL Bella_** , I was on my way to stop Tom on my own. Tsk.” Another take in tea, looks like he added too much sugar… “I don’t really remember how much I used to use it. I think not that much. Anyway, the way is gone and I have not the most important ingredient to repeat it, so let it be. I lost.” He put up his hands in a giving up gesture “In exchange of this little service, I want him to leave Potters’ kid alone. With the riddle he will be here soon. In whatever way he would be able to come.”

And he mean it.

“And your punishment? What if he kills you? You should beg for your life instead!”

But the response… it made my blood cold. This crazy smile, different and the same as His.

“Oh, Mr Malfoy, my last wish in life right now is to be killed by Tom and no one else. Only him. I had enough, you see, but if someone else does it for me, it will be hell for this person and… my life has cost enough people, don’t you think so?”

He truly believes so…

“Severus, you have the right to decisions you made!”

“Lucius, don’t you dare!”

“I dare! He saved us as well as His reputation, becoming the big, bad guy! If he didn’t, then Dumbledore would eat us alive without Dark Lord and get any evidence to dismiss us and his name. Severus, get some rest. You are tired and talking nonsense. Giving up on life because you lost the rest of faith in Him!? Then regain it, to Merlin’s beard, little by little. This time talked it out. They are gone and won’t came back. He can, you said, that is why you did it all. Don’t give it another name. Now, go!”

He was probably first time in his life speechless. An idiot would see you missed them, us, you missed Him. You don’t need other reasons.

“Father, stop. I know you try to pressure him into the choice he didn’t make all those years ago, but… you can’t as he already chose to help him come back. Stop kicking a hurt puppy, Father. His sanity is stable as for Severus, but not as for wizard. Now, I will go inform nicely Narcissa.”

I don’t look back. I can’t let it all end like 10 years ago. Never again.

My fear won’t cost me so much anymore.

****

**_Tom’s possessed Quirell’s pov_ **

To thought I would come back here like this… Well, I have to, the stone… my chance to come back lies with this.

This pathetic man cooperates… well, when no one has come to find me, I couldn’t precisely complain. My name must be already cursed around… All cause of one stupid prophecy, all of one idiot little boy! Should I have done something different with my own menace as well?

I wish I could kill him and not get destroyed by this. If he didn’t left me… and he never searched for me…

But now, I had to focus on the stone, not the boy, not Dumbledore – though I need to be careful about muggle-lover, not Severus…

No, surely not Severus.

Now Pomona – Hufflepuff. Great.

“Oh, Quirell, it is you! You heard the news, I presume? I still can’t believe the boy, that smart boy, did it.”

‘Answer her, you useless lump of meat.’

“About who are we talking?” Crouch? Did he get caught or something? This idiot knew nearly nothing about events, being at Hogwart and never gossiping, only travelling. Useless.

“Severus, of course, one of the brightest Slytherin I have ever know. I can’t really believe he would just kill Potters, who were his friends here. From jealousy none the less? But people are cruel and veritaserum proved it to be truth… still, it is not into his character. Lucius Malfoy apparently get him out two weeks ago by making some assumption of psychological problem, but when officials made the interview after a week, he said he can go back to Azkaban and was apparently annoyed when they took it as a symptom. You really think he is sick?”

“Sick…?” Answer her yes, he might if he said so, useless idiot. “yes, he might if they said so”

“Hmm, Albus never talks about it even if he knew something. Everyone know he was trying to talk him around all last ten years, once a year and never managed anything. Probably to make account what really happened and get him out or so. Really, what a kid…”

I wasn’t really listening anymore, this idiot can repeat it later. Probably.

He took the blame, cleared my name and done something to make Dumbledore chase him around so carefully?

Maybe… he never left me, just… grow up?

Oh Merlin, it was puberty thing for sure and I got angry and made a mess. Damn. How to get back my body, have a talk with him and don’t get caught?

In the prophet was a riddle…

Seriously? Actually, a good one, in Severus’ style. Hmm. I think… I may risk it.


	15. We define ourselves

Tom's pov all chapter

Maybe it was not the most brilliant idea ever.

After all, it can be a trap or I may truly die here.

Then… what would be then?

I hate to even think about it, but I want to give it a chance.

“Tom, are you here?” Abraxas? “Your kid is under suspicious you will possess some idiot to come here, if you are, come out, if not, then I need to obliviate anyone listening…”

Damn, Quirell, get out.

“Sir?”

“Oh, so he was right. Tom, this is a snake, change please, you won’t need this idiot anymore. We may start to work on the campaign later and you should do something about Severus, he got cheeky a lot. Like when he was six, but worse. Too much Dementors or Gryffindors, hard to guess which it was.”

I… fine.

“well, Nagini will be happy, this snake nearly died from missing you two. She actually has your album with Severus’ photo and may try to attack. After seeing him again, she got nearly as possessive as you.”

I am not… I am possessive. Tsk, of course now you can talk high and… wait, you kept Nagini, get out Severus and come here means you did try to find me.

Just in the way you would any normal person – with information. Some try better than none.

…..

Severus…

**_“Tom?”_** he asked me in parsentongue and I am not sure if I should not bite him. **_“Come on, let’s get you in one piece, so we can talk seriously. Like seriously, this time listen a little too.”_**

**_“I am always listening!!”_ **

**_“No, you are talking, Tom. It is important, so stop getting annoying. Spending nearly ten years inside my mind to save my sanity was not the most pleasurable, but better to alternative. Probably.”_ **

And then he changed to English I can’t speak yet! Betrayer!!!

“Mr Malfoy, can I take Tom? The potion is ready and the spell, but… I want to do it myself.”

“Go ahead” Abraxas only shrugged. How would he just shrugged? I have not allowed it all yet. I want to express it, but Severus ignores my hissing and Malfoy don’t understand.

At all.

He takes me to cellar. Yes, great, he will murder me himself. What a kid I brought up.

**_“It will sting a little, Tom”_** I am afraid to even confirm it, but attacking him is… a no. And this snake is no poisonous one, I can tell.

He throw me into the cauldron. Wait, is he really?

He murmurs a spell with a wand and cut his hand… where in normal circumstances if he was a muggle, he would die…

SEVERUS!!

I am not sure how, when and what happened afterwards. The words were continued and in the end, I can feel again, the warm of a body.

“Yea, at least it worked as it should, I was sure it…” and he faint. And by reflex I caught him.

Okay, he did more to me than I for him while I was selfishly trying to capture him to erase his memories…

Maybe, just maybe, I should have gone to have some lessons how to be a parent when he was a little. Now I can regret it.

I got a kid way better than I am and it shows. Dressing a little, taking him in my arms, I am going up. I have to see what this ritual was about and the details of what happened during the last 10 years.

“Abraxas?”

“Oh my Merlin, it really worked! I was sure you won’t at the very least looked the same as it is dark magic we are talking about… what was the price then?”

I pale at it.

“Show me the description!!” Damn it, not what I think…

It took me 2 hours to completely decipher it all, it was complicated and… cost him half of his life force! At best he has now is like what? 20 years to live? 30? At best 40…

“Tom…?”

“Yes, of course, why am I not surprised, he sacrificed half of his life for this… no of course, the best course of action.” Breathe deeply, I had more sins to atone for than this boiling outburst. I was trying not to let him grow up and I paid.

“Maybe it can be reversed?”

“Not a possibility. Abraxas, I am an idiot” he is silent “ I tried to make him not grow up, if someone tried to do it to me, I would kill them painfully… and he did all to made sure I live. Bugger it all…”

“He can forgive you one day, Tom, if you are to be patient.”

…

Abraxas, you are not the best parent as well, are you?

“He won’t if I won’t regret it. I think… I will just drop the shield. If he leave me, I deserve it. Because of me, he had accompanied Dementors for the last 10 years, me and Sirius Black apparently.”

“He had wrote to us, Tom. To me and Orion and emphasized that for sure you will be back. Most believed you truly gone… the mark stopped functioning, until now I hope.” He smiles slightly.

“Yes, yes, let’s start with public reason. Said I was extremely ill and in coma. He tried to find a cure and in the turmoil and through hallucination, he killed Potters - it will be harder to put it on someone else now – and during his stay in Azkaban he found it in the end and cured me after you got him out. Let’s say in three months from now. And let me guess, I am not to attack the Potter’s spawn version 2?”

“Severus expressed such a wish”

“Then I will not. Something else of importance?”

“Bella tortured Longbottoms to insanity and was a few floors from Severus for the last ten years.”

I stare. Seriously, why this woman…

“Her loyalty is admirable, but I don’t remember saying anything about such a torture. Getting her out will be tricky… if not impossible and rather a break-out and letting them hide somewhere, but then Severus would go on with his quest to kill her… well, leave her for now. It is too much trouble at this politic climate and there must be anything to exchange her life for with Severus. I think try to talk this time, not manipulate.”

Abraxas looks thoughtful, if not puzzled.

“When did you change your mind about this all?”

“When one is a ghost-like thing for the last ten years, it can have such an effect. Worse, the connection with Quirell… If I continued, I would have to get unicorn’s blood to get by. I don’t even want to think about consequences…”

That would destroy even more of my sanity and whatever Severus did… it did helped this as well. My, my, too talented you are, Severus, and too easily sacrifice…

“Thanks Merlin that you get this kid then, the prophecy would happened anyway, you would go and get killed like that possible again and then no one would pick after you, again. Have some rest, I will tell Lucius and he will want some time with Severus, if you are really trying to improve as a parent, let him talk with a friend at the very beginning”

I have to, don’t I? I know I am grimacing. It was twelve years from that escape… between I killed his girlfriend – not the best move; his few friends he had – neither; and get myself killed – virtue in itself.

Long way to salvation, isn’t it?

I don’t really see Abraxas leaving, I am at peace once again after all. This time I won’t destroy it as I did before.

I got a chance, I will use it and beat muggle-lover without destroying all around.

.

.

.

.

Finally waking up, sleeping princess.

He blinks, look at me, blinks more again and lie down…

“Severus, I am not a dream if you thought so” for sure I am not!

“It worked? Thanks Merlin as I couldn’t really do a simulation and was worried it won’t be good enough. Don’t tell Mr Malfoy, I was behaving as if it is to work… for sure… and I kind of had only 90% that it will.” I rise a brew and he smiles “ Welcome among bodies buddies again, Tom” and then he slapped me “ For Mary, Lily and James, I will kick your ass when I finally find a way. Remember it!” well, I deserve this one.

“I know, pathetic parent, aren’t I?” yes, said it and let us go over how much you hate me now.

“I don’t think I can forgive you all of this, but I can live with it, I suppose. They died because they didn’t listen to me as well… I told them Petegrew is suspicious, but of course a Slytherin is more than a coward friend from Gryffindor. Idiots… I wished you never cared about this prophecy, but… damn, why you always act on fear!?”

Okey, I stare and it is denial time.

“I do not!”

“You do, stop denying something you know. You tried to made me do a horcrux!” and I know now it won’t work, you can’t do it… “Then has gone mental in your search of me as for a toy, not a human with choices. Tom, I…” yes, hate me.. everyone would after all this… “ I never hated you, I never not loved you, but it is just funny. You should have let me killed her, that is. And leave Evan alone. Lucius said he may be alive, but is… worse for wear. You should have never ordered Mr Potter’s death and it would be fine too. We can’t change the past, Tom, and I refused to lose you too. No matter how angry I am and how rotten you become. Now listen closely, Tom, as I won’t repeat and don’t interrupt!”

I wouldn’t dare and as such I am rising my hands.

“Headmaster knows about horcrux, I kind of let it slip the first time after waking up and being informed about their death…”

Fear is immense now…

“So after your supposed death, I kind of… poison him with a potion which was to alter **_you_** to forgot about killing people… and I took it all out of his head… and I misplaced the horcrux and have no idea where as I didn’t want to possible give up this information through Dementor influence, so… but all memories of your childhood or these things or any relation to your ‘immorality’ is out of his head. Don’t worry and try not to… go crazy again.”

I blink now.

He saved me more than once now, has gone to Azkaban partly for me as to avoid old fool, destroy evidence and made sure of my come back.

I really didn’t deserve him in the end, did I? I will do better this time. So I dropped them, occlumency shield. Never before…

But it is the first step.

The first one to become someone he can truly love again.

I am scared of what he feels from me.

Maybe he will never look at me again… damn, say something.

He only gapes… and then there are tears in his eyes. Why?

“Severus I…”

“You are way warmer than I ever thought… at least toward me…” what? I would call myself many things but not warm.

Why warm?

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t have to, Evan has it too, the change from extremely cold to warm in a moment, you’re a psychopath, Tom, but I knew it always. Anything beyond it, you are a human. Even if you hate the idea I think.”

“No, as long as I won’t die, I can be a human. I am afraid of death, Severus. I saw it too many… during a war, any time I came back from Hogwart to orphanage, I was so afraid I would die without doing anything … after that first hellish holiday, I started to try to find a way to live no matter what and I found it. Do you think me disgusting?”

“No, just human, scared human as any other. I was scared too, most of my life, not to be enough. Only after some time after you ‘die’, I got it, actually. How useless this fear was. What are you going to do?”

“Continue where I left. In a few years, we will be back where we left and I will properly apologize to you then. And Abraxas, Orion, Evan and Lucius…” my another big step forward.

“Good then, don’t go around saying I have only thirty years to live, Tom, it is of no importance”

I hate the fact you are accepting it, but I can’t persuade you as I did once. I need good reason and I will find a way.

To let you live more. 

He fell asleep quite fast this time around….

…

I think I might have forgot about Quirell and left his lifeless body in the middle of the street.

…

_Ups._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For me, this is like the all of it summed up. I just knew, the moment I wrote it, that I won't wrote more of action proper. Why?  
> Because it is what I wanted. He does not need to be like a normal human. He is not. The moment he let the mask off, it was a start of his own redemption.   
> Next one is last, the last one and I cried a lot while writing it.   
> Thanks to everyone for being here, reading all those parts of this crazy story and keeping with me.  
> I believe my ending is quite happy, even with grim story. For sure more than canon ^^ Enjoy! Stay safe! Succeed in all you wish to.


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all people for going that far! The ending in my head I dare to present you!

Life can be surprising.

Tom seriously took this atonement thing, this time. After getting back to the politics and partly clearing my name – you can only help this much when you are a ‘murderer’ for them with good- made excuses.

This time he had more fair goals through.

It took a lot of persuading, threatening and some torturing of extremely stubborn ones, to get them all set on this path.

Instead of shunning silently, he changed to integrate them, so they won’t hurt us by destroying the culture. Those, who refused to learn, could, but then they were no more learning in Hogwart. A special school for a people not wanting to become a part of our society, only getting hold of the power they possess, was created. No more it was allowed to mix those two way of living without notice – the law ensured no child will suffer from it.

The one which made it clear a muggle had to know you are a witch / wizard before a wedding and if you are unlucky to become pregnant and break it, your child is taken away until you prove that muggle of your choosing can accept him with all love and care needed. Most never pass this exam not out of difficulty, but the fear and lack of acceptance when someone is different.

As my own ‘father’ did.

The same procedure is directed to muggle-borns as well, only children to those family who doesn’t accept them, are taken away. No violence against children permitted, ever.

The fact that from time to time he still torture some is of no importance as he keeps a list with not-convicted suspects whose crime he can confirm or deny with legilimency and then take it out on this criminal. It is wrong, but the least he could reduce to. Horcrux has their impact…

Bella wasn’t helped by Tom until her victims get back to health. It means that for the next ten years, from the day I got his body back, she was still rotting there. I wished she died there, but if Tom is changing his way, I had to and I didn’t forgive or forget, but didn’t search for revenge as well.

Officially, I was an auror under Moody, and then Black. Most of my time I spent on research through. Especially lot of it I put in lycantrophy and after many years of work and working with Lupin on it, we found a cure. Only those feral beast who chose to hurt didn’t get it and Tom has subtly got rid of those specimen. If even another werewolf is still out there, no more victim will ever had to suffer this curse anymore.

Albus Dumbledore, despite being sure of Tom’s bad intention in the beginning, in the end saw it for what it was – Tom’s own redemption, never enough to be forgiven morally, but enough to be forgiven by me. They had a talk behind a close door and after it, Headmaster never tried to undermine Tom again, I bet on a vow from both side personally. At the age of 160, he has died a peaceful death.

Moreover, he apologized for all his wrong-doing to me and… thanked for all the help I gave them and apologized for all doubts and not doing anything to help me in Azkaban. After taking his memories away… I think of it as even and forgiven him. He need it as all brilliant man, having so much of sins as act of bravery.

Sirius never got married, focusing his life and love to always support Harry – I never met him and I can’t as an official killer – but his brother did and continued the line as his parents wanted. He did admit he fell in love with his wife through.

Yes, he got his memories back after many session with me. His son is my godson and I made sure to pamper him all the way. I really missed our Reggie. After Walburga Black’s death, let her rest in peace at least, brothers reconciled and Sirius even start regularly visiting his brother, nephew and father, even if he never will admit it. He missed them and somewhere inside… he desired their approval, their blessing and praise. He get a few for a good auror job recently from Mr Black and barely hid happiness. Not that I don’t understand it. He also promised to never tell Harry the truth, because of my relation with Remus and Sirius, young Potter stopped hating me much after understanding what I did, officially stated. I think he can stop hating me one day completely and let it go and the case if that he won’t stop hating Tom. I don’t want him to live in hatred, it is too sad to cling to it, Tom or me is a great example.

Longbottoms’ miracle recovery and cure for lycantrophy has nicely made me a mad, crazy genius who needs a 24/7 supervision instead of psycho killer. Big difference, I tell you all.

I found it, the never sent letter from Mary… It broken my heart and… I realized I might have fallen for her a little too, but in my hatred and anger toward Bella, I hide it. I never forgave myself not responding to her show of feelings back then. And never told Tom of my feelings toward it. The price was never falling in love again. I couldn’t anyway, if only not to make Tom jealous.

Lucius’s son, Draco, get a quick liking to me and was a firm apprentice to me in potion. Little, cheeky brat, that one. He often get into fights with Harry and Weasley, I hoped he will one day grow up… They both did, but not enough to shake each other hand, Merlin forbade such a offense! Now happily married, a good father and successor.

Lucius himself is one step below Minister ( Tom ) and if ever Tom resigned, he is sure to take the place. His politics skill are terrifying and only Tom exceed him! Which tells a lot. Narcissa actually reconciled completely with Andromeda and I have a pleasure to meet her metamorphus daughter, Tonks, who fall in love with Lupin and they have a son, another walking polijuice, Teddy Lupin. Sympathetic boy, that one.

Petegrew… As long as no one know that he was set up – who would? – the rest of his life in the Azkaban, with all precarious against animagi and obliviated memory of Tom’s involvement. I need to cover such a details.

The best friend, my other half in mischief, only person to defy directly and live outside me – Evan. He was so happy to see me, he has practically moved to my and Tom’s home and former Dark Lord let him for a year, precisely and no a day longer. Yes, former, as they do not go around scheming that much anymore. Anyway, Evan is also auror with me and Siri and he covers for me when I have a idea for research. His brilliant dark humor stayed, but sometimes he is worried that I will disappear again… I had to tell him of my short life and after that, he tried to help Tom find a cure, but… anyway, I barely persuade him to stop his revenge quest. My best friend to the end…

Tom never manage to find a way to make me live longer without defiling my soul or sacrificing someone else life, so I never agreed to any of that. Also, when alone, we never put on the mental shield anymore, neither me ( I rarely did anyway ) or him. He once joked that when he is bored of all of this, he will go to try to find his ‘lost’ horcrux and joint it to find me again... Now, he won’t as he had limited time. We both know why and…

I don’t regret my life now, as I am dying.

It was all worth it, any mischief, any friend, any anger, any mistake… All those crazy fix, ideas, choice, I don’t regret fighting for happiness.

I was happy in the end, along with Tom and my friends, both dead ones, which stayed with me in memories and those alive. I hope they will forgive me forgiving Tom.

Them being here, never leaving me… This is what happiness is about, they all were my happiness. Only another human can make you happy and when you get a wind of it, never let it go. It is too precious to lose or go through life without.

I am happy I was born and taken in by Tom, befriend by Evan and Lucius, met Lily, James, Siri, Reggie, Remus, Mr Potter, Nagini and… all of them. 

The last things before my eyes as they are closing are Tom’s tears, warm if not pained feelings and such a sad smile…

I love you, Tom. Thank you for being for me there, for giving me happiness, changing for me yourself and this world, for giving me family... I will wait there for you.

Always.

The last view could have been worse…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again: Thank you, Trickster32, taywan and Akee-chan for comments which made me fluffy inside, thanks you all for kudos, for reading, for not bashing and for not cursing me when I deserved.   
> It was a pleasure to write this story and I have fallen in love with writing itself. I enjoyed it and I know that lion share is thanks to you guys, if not 100% ^^ I hope you found it acceptable and remember to try to find your own happiness. In this time, with all this covid thing around, I might have had it on mind more.   
> See you next time!

**Author's Note:**

> I have less idea on the end of this part or if it is the last part then previous two, have fun!


End file.
